Bayless (or Oceanmore?)

There are no wrong decisions

2012-01-31T07:27:00.003-05:00

I wrote that in an email to a friend last night, and I'm inspired to elaborate here for my few readers.
As Christians, we often get caught up in trying to determine God's Will For Our Lives. We put this big heavy label on our decisions, and soon, instead of looking at the general trajectory of our lives (are we becoming more like Jesus?), we are looking at our daily decisions: Should I get a Master's degree? What kind of car should I buy? Should I have a baby? Should I use "cry it out" to train that baby to sleep? Should I get another cat/dog? Should I hire a Christian plumber? Should I get a divorce? Should I vote Libertarian? Is it ok for me to drink alcohol when I'm stressed? Should I see a therapist? (and by the way, the answer to that question is ALWAYS yes)
Now, I'm not decrying the power of prayer, or the importance of weighing large decisions in a number of ways, including seeking advice, weighing pros and cons, and praying. But we get so paralyzed, and then we get so frightened of making the "wrong decision," that we get tied up in knots and we are no longer seeking Christ. What we really want is a guarantee - that if we pick the right option, we will win God's approval and be spared pain. We are seeking control, and using "God's Will For Our Lives" as an excuse.
Because there are no wrong decisions. At least not when it comes to God's love and blessing upon us. God will always love us. God will always bless us. God will always be there, holding on to us even as we make decisions that cause pain to others. And don't misunderstand me: there are decisions that hurt ourselves and others, and there are decisions that go against God's best desires for us. But God doesn't care. God will always love us.
I picture God as a lap. I close my eyes and feel God's arms around me, God's lap beneath me, God's warm maternal love pouring forth over me. Just like I'm a lap to Tori. As she cries and wails and tries desperately to stay awake (a decision that hurts her), I hold her and soothe her and pour out the best of my poor blessings that I have upon her.
Don't be so frightened. Let go of control. Remember that there are no wrong decisions - there will always be pain and there will always be God's love holding you fast.

The Adventures of Tori and the Cats, II

2012-01-22T19:03:00.002-05:00

Pipsqueak pushed the bathroom door open with a vigorous head butt. Tori slung her head over to look at him as the door swung open. Pip stopped in his tracks. Green eyes met blue eyes.
"You're a cat," said Tori.
Pip nodded.
"I'm a baby," she added.
Pip came forward gingerly and sniffed the air around Tori's head. She brought her arm around to pet him the way Mama helped her to do, but there was a little too much force and Pip jumped back.
"What was that for?" he growled.
"Sorry, Mama does it better," she said. Tori shifted in her Bumbo. "She's in there," she continued, pointing towards the second door.
Pipsqueak nodded. "That's why I'm here. I like to roll around in the shower after she's finished."
"Roll around in the water?"
"Yep."
Tori and Pipsqueak regarded one another with mutual curiosity. Then the shower stopped and in a moment or two the door opened. Pip sauntered towards it. Tori sighed a small ah, and Mama's face appeared. She smiled widely at baby Tori, who gave her a Mona Lisa smile in return.

The Adventures of Tori and the Cats

2012-01-06T09:48:00.002-05:00

Tori waited to make sure Mama and Daddy were both asleep. They stayed up so late, and often came in at the first sound she made, so she had learned to wait a while before her nocturnal wanderings. One of the cats was scratching at the door, but she would just have to wait. Finally, Tori stood up, climbed out of the crib, and standing on her tiptoes, opened the door. Duchess swirled into the room.
"What's on for tonight?" she asked.
Tori shrugged. "Is there a full moon yet?"
"No, not tonight. I keep telling you, it takes a full month. You know, moon, month?"
"No, I don't know, you stupid cat. I'm only 5 and a half months old."
"But you just used the word month!"
"Don't bother me with your cat logic." Tori stepped purposefully into the hallway.
"Wanna watch them sleep?" asked Duchess, hovering near Mama and Daddy's doorway.
"Oh puh-lease. The last time we did that you just curled up and went to sleep."
"Well, can I help it if they are oh so soft and warm? I don't know why you don't like sleep, after all, at your age you can get away with sleeping all the time."
"Sleep is bo-ring. Plus Mama and Daddy party after I go to sleep."
Duchess nodded. It was true, after all.
"How about we check progress on the house facelift?"
"OK."
The two conspirators went into the dining room, where Duchess lightly leaped up to the door trim where the key was held. Tori managed to unlock and open the door and they were out on the deck, in the cold moonlight. They crept around to the front of the house.
"Looking good!" said Tori approvingly.
"Yes, I like their color choices. That chocolate brown trim is lovely."
"I'm not crazy about the light brown siding though. Reminds me of the bathroom." Tori pursed her lips.
They walked all the way around the house, and then Tori gave a great stretch and yawn. "Time to go back in," tutted Duchess, who really just wanted to do some hunting in peace. Tori was not fond of the way Duchess ate her prey. Tori nodded sleepily and they went back inside. Duchess got Tori settled, then went back to the dining room. Only then did she realize her mistake - without Tori, she couldn't open the door! With a sigh, she went back to the Mama-Daddy room and curled up in between them for some nice peaceful sleep.

Dr. Strangepump, or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Pump

2011-08-05T10:28:00.002-04:00

My first experience with pumping was in the hospital, when I was having trouble getting my baby to latch on. One of the nurses brought in a double electric pump and told me to use it. Later on that day she attached the flanges to me, adjusted the machine, turned it on and left. Since it was a double pump, I had to hold both bottles, so I lay in bed, open wound in my belly, raw nipples encased in plastic, holding two empty bottles, while a machine began to exert pressure on those nipples, pulling them a half inch into the plastic cylinders. After five minutes I was howling in pain. Yanking the flanges off, I pressed the nurse button and demanded narcotic pain drugs to deal with the lightning cramps of pain in my uterus and nipples. I didn't pump at the hospital again.

Last week I took out my home double electric pump, read the manual, and tentatively attached one flange to my sore right nipple. I turned the machine on and watched as it pumped. I kept the pressure to the minimum and was relieved to see that my nipples did not elasticize. But it hurt. So I stopped.

Last night my dear baby decided to skip one feeding, and then only snack at the other feeding times. By 7:00, I was engorged. Not a fun feeling, especially when your boobs tend to turn into fountains. I was sprinkling sticky milk all over the place! And worst of all, dear baby pursed her lips at my nipple and resolutely slept. So I went to the pump. I pulled on a tank top, cut two holes at nipple level so I wouldn't have to hold the bottles, and assembled myself to the pump. I used a little olive oil to lubricate the flanges, which were the size recommended by my lactation consultant. And lo and behold, I got 4 ounces in about 10 minutes! Minimal soreness and no uterine pain. I am a convert to pumping!

TV troubles

2011-07-28T19:58:00.003-04:00

Dale and I are unlucky when it comes to TV. A few summers ago, we decided to cancel our cable, just as an experiment. We weren't too concerned because we still had Netflix. Promptly two weeks after we canceled the cable, the TV died. Since we were planning a trip to Knoxville to get my Grandmother's TV in August, we elected to go 6 weeks with no TV based entertainment of any kind. It was quite boring.

So a few months ago we bought a new TV cabinet, one which is baby proof. It's a TV lift, which means that the TV is in a cabinet and rises up out of it via remote control. Way cool, right? And we bought it from a very reputable furniture store. Well, Tori came early, so we've been homebound since July 13, and we have been watching TV in the evenings. Until this week.
Monday: I turned off the TV power strip due to a terrible lightning storm.
When I turned it back on, everything except the TV lift worked. Dale and I went through the manual, but alas, there is absolutely no way to get the TV out of the cabinet right now. So no TV.
Tuesday: I called the furniture store and they confirmed the furniture is under warranty. However, the person who handles repairs was out sick.
Wednesday: I called again, and the salesperson said the repair person is out sick again, but promises to work with someone else to get something done. That afternoon, as soon as I started nursing Tori, a technician calls. She talks my mom through some troubleshooting, but nothing works. They decide that they will send out a technician to remove the front panel of the cabinet, so we can at least watch the TV in the "down" position.
Thursday: I call for an update. The technician will come on Friday to remove the front panel. My contact person says that they have ordered the replacement part, but since it comes from VA, and needs to be located in the warehouse, they can't promise it will be here until NEXT FRIDAY. I'm thinking, I could bicycle to the warehouse, find the darn thing, and bicycle home BEFORE next Friday.
If the furniture store doesn't do better than this, I will have to reveal their identity.

My Vagina

2011-07-08T15:48:00.002-04:00

So I've noticed in my baby books many references to my "birth canal." I think that's kind of funny, given that my "birth canal" is really just my vagina. Do people just not want to label it that? I'm thinking there are lots of alternative names for a vagina, if we're going to label it according to function. There's the "love canal," for intercourse. Then there's the "blood canal" for menstruation. I guess the rest of the time it can either be the vagina or the "secret pocket," depending on your level of paranoia.
Anyway, since I'm having a c-section, I'm going to continue to call that tube my vagina. She and I agree that's the way to go.

The weight game

2011-06-22T05:23:00.003-04:00

So I don't know how much weight I've gained since I got pregnant. I don't know what my current weight is. This makes me an anomaly among pregnant women.
I'm not being careless - at each OB appointment I ask the doctor if my weight gain is OK. So far, it has been. I just don't see the point in knowing the numbers.
Why do we care so much about the numbers? Average weight gain is just an average - by definition it means that half of us will be above and the other half below.
I know my body is changing - that I won't be able to fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes for many months. Why do I need to know an exact number? Even if I lost the exact same number of pounds, I might not fit back into the same clothes.
Weight gain during pregnancy is just a game that I'm choosing not to play.

24, the Real Life Edition

2011-06-14T11:21:00.002-04:00

The TV show 24 has come up in a couple of conversations recently, which got me thinking. What would the Reality Show 24 look like? I'll model it on my own very exciting life, naturally.

Midnight - 1:00 am, Monday June 13:
Dale and Elaine asleep in the bed. Slight sounds of snoring from both individuals. The cats are prowling. Pipsqueak goes to the litterbox and digs for about 10 minutes. Duchess is curled up in a ball next to Dale. Shadow sleeps at Elaine's feet.
1:01 - 2:00 am: Elaine slowly lurches out of bed. Night vision camera shows very messy hair. She stumbles into the bathroom and returns in a couple of minutes. Dale moves away from Duchess. Duchess moves next to him again. Shadow goes into the kitchen and makes French toast. He hisses at Duchess when she appears to eat some. Then he serves some to Pipsqueak.
2:01 - 3:00 am: Duchess cleans up Shadow's mess and picks the back door lock. She grills a t-bone steak and eats it by herself. Dale and Elaine snore.
3:01 - 4:00 am: Everyone sleeps.
4:01 - 5:00 am: Elaine goes to the bathroom again. Shadow creeps up the bed when she returns and she pets him.
5:01 - 6:00 am: Everyone sleeps
6:01 - 7:00 am: Dale gets up and gets ready for work. Elaine sleeps. The cats begin to annoy her in an effort to get breakfast.
7:01 - 8:00 am: Elaine gets up and feeds the cats. She eats breakfast.
8:01 - 9:00 am: What? I've fallen asleep. I've got a whole season of this to write?

Abilene TX, Top ten

2011-06-01T19:54:00.003-04:00

10. Due to it being graduation weekend, one morning when my sister-in-law took my nephews for an early morning swim, there was a naked woman in the pool. She pulled on a tank top when she saw them.
9. Every time we went outside, we got to experience what it's like for food in a convection oven.
8. In Texas, they don't have sheep dogs. They have sheep donkeys.
7. The interstate roads have entrance and exit ramps that literally go across lanes of opposing traffic.
6. "Guardrail" is spelled "Gardrail" in Texas.
5. In my family cemetery, Round Mound, I found a relative nicknamed "Commie." His full first name was "Commodore."
4. We got to cross a creek known by the college kids as the River Jordan.
3. The "River Jordan" leads to the "Holy Hump," the hill where the campus for Abilene Christian University can be found.
2. There is a Bible Hardware store in downtown Abilene.
1. To the author of the Fort Phantom Hill pamphlet: well done! You really should pursue a career in romance novel writing!

Home Repair

2011-05-24T13:06:00.002-04:00

I have a lovely old lamp from my childhood. It's white and yellow painted metal, with flowers. I've used it for years, and we decided to keep it in the nursery for Clementine. So we relocated it to the changing station and plugged it in. It flickered briefly, then went out. Well, it's an old lamp, so we figured the wire had a short in it.
Last night Dale went to considerable effort to redo the wiring and finally got the lamp to work. We had to get rid of the night light feature due to space restrictions, but that's not a problem. It's not really in the best place for a nightlight. We took it back to the room with great ceremony and plugged it in. Nothing.
So the plug we used was covered with a baby proof plate. I suggested that the plate was too thick for the plug to make contact, so we switched the plate (after all, the plug is behind a heavy piece of furniture). Still nothing. That's when we figured out the real problem. The plug we're using is back to back with a plug in our office. The office plug stopped working a long time ago, thanks to Duchess' regular baptisms in urine. Her pee not only ruined the office plug, but seeped through a ruined the nursery plug! Dale ended up replacing both plugs and now it works. Too bad we didn't think to check the plugs first!

The on-the-go mom

2011-05-16T10:30:00.005-04:00

Dale and I were talking the other day (which is always dangerous), and we came up with the best idea! We were discussing how I plan to buy a backpack diaper bag, because I'm just not OK with loading up one shoulder. Additionally, I plan to use a baby carrier (the kind that goes up against my body) as much as possible, because I also don't want to lug around a giant car seat. When your back is as touchy as mine, doing an uneven load like that (bag on one shoulder, carrier dangling from the other arm) is just a bad idea.
So there I'll be, a diaper bag behind me, a baby in front of me. How could I get more done? Well, they have these lovely hands free breast pump bras. The idea is that you can attach the bottles to each boob and go about your day, as in the picture below:

But since I'll be running around with a baby in front and a bag in back, I need somewhere else to store the bottles. Enter our invention! We will convert a beer hat into a bottle hat - the pump will directly deposit my milk into a hat on my head, a hat similar to this!

Are we geniuses or what?

Memories of my Grandmother

2011-05-06T10:08:00.004-04:00

I just wanted to take a few minutes to write some happy memories I have of my grandmother, my mother's mother.
I remember once when we were visiting them in California, she asked me what I wanted for breakfast. I was very young at the time, probably only 5 or 6, and I wanted a Coca Cola and peanut butter on crackers. And so she made it for me! That's a great Grandmother!
I remember how she used to recite poems, in great dramatic voice. She knew so many poems. She also had a drawer full of knick-knacks - gifts from students. Often she would let me go through the drawer and take an item for my own.
Then there was the year that we all went to Abilene for Christmas. We can never forget that, mostly because my brother ambitiously recorded a lot of it on video. I remember at one point during that trip, my Granddad was talking about how he and Grandmother met. And she interrupted him every other sentence! It was very funny to watch.
After she moved to Knoxville, the first time Dale and I visited her in her house, she offered us food and coffee. Dale observed how very grandmotherly of her that was, to press food on us. She was a good cook, and I remember her cookies and pies well.
She was a good grandmother. I will miss her, but I'm glad that she is at peace.

I'm not scared, just annoyed.

2011-04-28T09:21:00.005-04:00

I'm tired of people trying to manipulate behavior through fear. I'm tired of scaremongers and conspiracy theorists who don't understand statistics trying to "prove" their harebrained theories to me. I'm tired of the fact that Obama's birth certificate proves nothing to morons who espouse the birther movement (and yes, I call them morons with no apology, because if the one thing you demanded doesn't convince you, then you are a moron).
I'm tired of people telling me how to feed and raise my child based on their fears. Ultrasounds are not harmful. Vaccinations save lives. Non-organic food will not kill my child. A c-section birth does not mean I'm less of a woman. If I can't breast-feed, my child will survive.
People, let's use our brains. Try to comprehend statistical studies. Use some common sense. Look at the big picture. That's what I try to do.
So don't try to influence my behavior with your scare tactics. If you do, I'll just turn you off and any valuable insight you have will be lost in your barrage of fear mongering.

Seven Quick Takes on ___ Saturday

2011-04-23T11:34:00.002-04:00

1. Does today have a name? We have Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday. What is today?
2. I don't mind when people rub my belly. It makes me feel like a happy Buddha statue that they are rubbing for luck. teehee.
3. I'm becoming more and more annoyed by people who mistake homonyms. Faze v. phase is the most recent one, but there are several. Check out this great list!
4. I am stubbornly wearing a short sleeve t-shirt despite it being 60 and damp outside. It's practically May, darn it!
5. I have a feeling that this will be the coldest summer on record for Raleigh.
6. My thumb is covered in hangnails that must be tended to.
7. But I'm much more likely to lay down on this couch with the cats and nap for a while.

Nesting

2011-04-14T10:52:00.003-04:00

No, this isn't about the bird's nest that I disturbed on Tuesday. It's about my pregnancy. I have reached the nesting stage.
It's funny, but I am obsessed (in a good way) about creating the space for baby Clementine. I have a strong desire to paint one wall in the nursery (I would paint it a darker shade of lavender, as an accent wall). There's no need to do this. I want to buy furniture. I want to get new carpet. I want, I want, I want. Worst of all: I do not want to do anything else. All other responsibilities have lost their interest for me.
I'm not beating myself up, I'm just observing and accepting. Of course, life goes on. I have obligations to fulfill. And I'm fulfilling them. But in my heart, I'm filling a nursery with butterflies and furniture and pillows.

Oh, the guilt!

2011-04-12T10:53:00.002-04:00

Today I went into our "crawl space" under our deck. It's more like a stoop space, as it's about 4' high. Anyway, we store our wheelbarrow and a bag of vole repellent gravel down there. So I lugged the bag of gravel into the wheelbarrow and out to the maple, as I planted there today. As I enlarged the opening in the bag of gravel, I realized to my horror that there was a bird's nest in there, complete with small pink and white eggs! Oh the guilt! With much sorrow, I gently took out the nest and returned it to the same location.
When I was done, I loaded up the wheelbarrow and took it back, because, well, we have no where else to store it. And then, oh so sad, I saw the mama bird flying away from the nest! I hope she comes back!

In other news, here's an approximate sample of the fabric for my nursery chair:

Nursery!

2011-04-06T14:15:00.007-04:00

I started buying stuff for the nursery. So exciting! So far I've bought a lovely glider armchair with matching ottoman, the crib, a chest of drawers, and some decorative elements. I'm posting pictures here. The chair is just an approximate match. The upholstery I ordered is a white and golden yellow brocade pattern, very elegant. The walls are lavender, and I plan to use lavender and purple with teal and yellow accents.

absurd headlines

2011-03-29T11:38:00.002-04:00

Today the Washington Post had this headline and tag: "William and Kate to wed: William and his fiancee, Kate, are to be married." (punctuation mine)

Wow, what a great headline! I wonder if I could come up with headlines as great as that...

Four Teams prepare to play in the Final Four this weekend.
Rainy Forecast: Raleigh to experience rain this week.
Elizabeth Taylor's Death: Elizabeth Taylor recently passed away.
Radiation Leaks in Japan: Damaged Reactors leaking plutonium.

Fringe Bloodlines

2011-03-27T19:17:00.004-04:00

So Friday night's Fringe was brilliant. The episode focused on the alternate universe and we got to see fan favorite cab driver Henry. The writers managed to make Fauxlivia sympathetic, as she suffered through a pretty bizarre pregnancy. Oh, and by the way, this post is full of spoilers, so no reading if you haven't watched.
The episode begins with Fauxlivia getting tested for VPE, a viral form of ecclampsia. Sadly, ecclampsia is a real disease that does threaten the life of a pregnant woman. The only cure is delivery of the baby. Virally propagated ecclampsia is, as far as I can tell, a myth. (whew!)
In the car on the way home, along with lying about the father, Fauxlivia and her mother discuss her "options," although it's pretty clear Fauxlivia sees no options. I assume she is planning on an abortion if she carries the virus, an assumption bolstered by the doctor's later statement on scheduling the "procedure" later in the episode. This should present a significant dilemma for Fauxlivia. She is carrying Walternate's grandchild, probably on his orders, yet if she doesn't abort, she and the baby will die.
NOTE: at first, I wondered at Fauxlivia's stupidity: first she has unprotected sex with Peter, and then we find out she's basically someone who should never get pregnant?? But Walternate's actions suggest that she got pregnant on his orders. I would ask why she didn't object then, but if you recall the circumstances of the switch, I doubt she had time to think it through.
The glyphs spell out the word "FATED", and I think this episode took a roundabout way to look at the question of choice and pregnancy. Does Fauxlivia, in fact, have the freedom to choose? Turns out, NO. Walternate and Brandon take that choice away from her by kidnapping her and accelerating her pregnancy. The priority here is the child's life, not Fauxlivia's. Walternate and Brandon most likely know that she has VPE. The acceleration is for the child's sake, not hers (the doctor's statement demonstrates that). Why didn't they simply inform Fauxlivia that they had a possible way for her to carry the child without suffering VPE? Because they couldn't take the risk that she would choose to abort. Her choice was deliberately taken away because her life is less important than the life of the child. An interesting course for Walternate to choose, given his refusal to test Cortexiphan on kids. His morality is very selective: children are innocents, while adults are disposable. Fringe doesn't directly deal with the question of abortion, but it does get to the heart of the matter: a mother's choice.
The accelerated pregnancy is by far the event that makes me sympathetic towards Fauxlivia. I'm currently pregnant, and I can't imagine how awful it would be if the last 22 weeks had been compressed into 2 hours. The ligament pain and stretching skin pain, man oh man that hurts to think about! Realistically speaking, she should've died, the way the prostitute did in Season 1 Same Old Story. The uterus probably would've ruptured and caused serious internal damage. I'm willing to buy the idea, however, that with Other Side technology they were able to compensate for the accelerated growth.
The one issue I can't suspend belief on is the rapid growth of her son at all. You can't make matter from nothing - they would've had to give her a massive amount of nutrients somehow in order for the fetus to have raw material to form. But that's a minor glitch. After all, this is Fringe.
One burning question: will the acceleration of the pregnancy result in accelerated growth of Peter Junior? If the acceleration was purely for tactical advantage, then his childhood growth should be accelerated too. We can assume that once again, the Other Side's technology will compensate for the failures seen in Same Old Story.
LOVE Lincoln and his confession of love for Fauxlivia. I hope she turns to him for emotional support. Love watching Lincoln and Charlie start to question Walternate. And although most people seem to hate Alt-Brandon, I love him! It's like our Brandon is milk chocolate, and Alt-Brandon is dark chocolate. Unlike Walternate, Alt-Brandon's morality is unambiguous and clear: EVERY person, no matter the age, is disposable. Reprehensible, yes, but also refreshing.
And finally, hoorah for Henry! I really like how his character just pops up from time to time.

Key West Fire Drill

2011-03-24T09:04:00.002-04:00

Dale and I sat on our balcony enjoying the fresh night air on St. Patrick's Day. Our balcony overlooked the dead end road our hotel sat on. The road was awesome. There were no signs, no barriers. It literally just ended at a low concrete wall that was about 2 feet from the ocean. We saw lots of cars wander down the road, stop, then awkwardly turn around.
One car was driven by a group of excited revelers, obviously enjoying the holiday. They came down, turned around, and left. Then they returned. It was then that Dale and I witnessed what we have decided to call the Key West Fire Drill.
(For those who aren't familiar with the "chinese fire drill", that's when you stop at a traffic light, and everyone gets out of the car, runs around it, then returns to a different seat in the vehicle.)
There was a driver and 2 passengers, all older men. They got out of the car and ran around to the passenger side. The driver carried a bag, out of which he drew 3 t-shirts. He distributed the shirts, which they held up to their chests. There was a lot of giggling. Next, the driver embraced and kissed one of the passengers. The shirts were returned to the bag, and then everyone returned to their exact same seats. With a loud shriek, they took off into the night. Behold, the Key West Fire Drill.

Halfway There, 7 quick takes

2011-03-11T09:24:00.002-05:00

1. Ai-yi-yi! The "nursery" is a messy mass of clutter!
2. Aside from my constant respiratory problems, this has been a really easy pregnancy. Hope the next 20 weeks are just as good.
3. I love being part of a cluster of pregnancies. Five of my friends, woohoo!
4. Being 36 has advantages. While I'm still quite ignorant, I have a fair amount of life knowledge that makes things easier: my looks are ever changing, so body changes aren't traumatic. Don't sweat the little stuff, and really, it's all little (see comment 1). If you don't want people butting in, don't invite them (the reason why Dale and I are keeping the name a secret). Other people's horror stories are just interesting conversation, not predictions.
5. Things that never interested me before are suddenly fascinating.
6. Being pregnant is more important than any of my other life goals.
7. While there's lots of fear and concern, it is outweighed by pregnancy joy and excitement. Probably hormones. Thank God!

Pregnancy Clothes

2011-03-09T08:30:00.002-05:00

I love my pregnancy clothes. Everything is so comfortable! In addition, everything is basically like pajamas. It's all pull on, pull over, no tucking.
Let's take maternity jeans. They look like regular jeans - even have little fake flies - but they are pull-on pants with nice wide elastic waists. Man, are they comfortable! The most comfortable jeans I've ever worn.

Gitmo

2011-03-08T11:00:00.003-05:00

So now President Obama is authorizing indefinite holding time for prisoners at Guantanamo Bay prison. I'm not OK with this. Why is our government so good at fighting wars against certain kinds of criminals and not others? Why are terrorists and drug dealers more of a target than rapists and child molesters?
Sorry, just ranting.

Pregnancy Drama

2011-03-02T12:03:00.002-05:00

It's like a roller coaster here!
First of all, I got my insurance issues resolved. Because Dale is a GSK employee, we were able to switch providers to United, which covers Rex hospital deliveries! Hurrah! We are so blessed to work for a company that cares about its employees and takes care of them. Yay GlaxoSmithKline!

Just when I thought my emotions were getting in check, my asthma decided to flare up. Last week I caught some kind of bug, which led to bronchitis, which led to a serious asthma flare. So Dale and I spent Sunday morning in the hospital ER getting breathing treatments and drugs. Now I'm on several different medications, including steroids, which make me feel emotionally quite good. That's misleading, though, because I get going and then I drive myself too hard. So today I'm working from home.

We found out we're having a little girl! So very exciting! Something about that knowledge, and the 45 minutes we got to watch her during our Ultrasound, makes everything about this process so much more rewarding.

So that's the update from Pregnancy Roller Coaster Central.

I hate insurance

2011-02-21T09:06:00.002-05:00

Aetna and UNC Healthcare are in a debate. Their contract ended on February 5th. Basically, UNC wants Aetna to pay more money. Aetna wants to continue cutting fat checks to stockholders. I'm pregnant and caught in the middle.
I dutifully filled out a transition coverage form and faxed it to Aetna's office on February 15th. I called to follow up on the 18th, when it was put into the system. Today I called again. The representative was so "glad" I called, because the form had been sent to Claims, incorrectly. This is THEIR form, but they couldn't process it correctly. So I'm no closer to finding out if I can continue to see my OB at in-network prices.
But there's more!
The coverage request only covers 90 days, unless Aetna decides that since I'm pregnant, I should get care for a full 9 months. After that point, I can continue to see my OB and deliver at my hospital, but I will have to pay out of network prices. Fine, I have an out of pocket maximum. But wait! If Rex charges me more than what Aetna thinks is "reasonable & customary", then I legally have to pay it all, and it won't count towards my out of pocket maximum. Yes, that's right. And let's remember, Aetna and UNC are in a debate because they can't agree on what's reasonable & customary. Which means that I'm practically guaranteed to pay more than my out of pocket maximum. How much more? Well, I'll have to see what Rex estimates to be my cost of care.
How am I supposed to be fiscally responsible if I can't find out how much my care will cost? Why does Aetna continually screw over the OB's and Gynecologists I choose? (My gynecologist dropped out of the program a few years ago).
At 17 weeks pregnant, I'm a big crying mess. Thanks, Aetna.

Fringe: Concentrate & Ask Again

2011-02-11T13:14:00.009-05:00

My Tweet by tweet review, interspersed with in-depth thoughts.
Dr. Spock, bwahahaha!
Awesome death! Dale says: homeboy needs some Prolia
He's been using Brand X
(Also a quote from Dale)
I love love love that scene btwn Olivia and Nina!

The scene between Olivia and Nina is the best part of this episode. In fact, the crime in this episode really is the background story, a good device to bring out the relationship issues. I really enjoy how Olivia allows herself to trust Nina. It must be hard that something she would've kept very secret is public knowledge of everyone she works with. And of course, Olivia chooses to disregard Nina's advice, which is a shame.

Peter is doing well. Now, if only there weren't that little matter of killing 5 shapeshifters & lying to Olivia about it.

Olivia does ask Peter, as Nina advised. But it's more complicated than Peter just explaining his feelings. I don't think Peter is even clear on his own feelings. And Olivia knows that. Not to mention that when Olivia finds out about the shapeshifters, she's not going to be inclined to trust Peter again...

Walter's pee dance was great.
Simon's gonna fall in love with Olivia just cos he can't read her mind, haha.
I like where this is going, but who will the group target be?

This scene between Olivia and Simon is also a great scene. Portraying how difficult it is to have an ability like mind reading - great writing and acting. This is where the episode plot gets a little weak, however. We see three more people killed by the gas, presumably by another soldier whose dead child was named "Carla," and I'm wondering why there's going to be a fancy dress ball with multiple victims (as seen in the previews).
The scene at the hospital is very good. Can't imagine trying to read the mind of someone with brain damage! I can't help but think that Simon could learn to manage his ability, but he certainly closes the door on that in this episode. That doesn't mean we won't see him again, though.

The tall one is right.
Poor Simon, he needs some lessons in mental focus or something.

OK, as much as I love seeing everyone all dressed up (and wow, Olivia!), this murder scene doesn't make much sense. Why kill a bunch of civilians at a fundraiser for Thorn? It would be easier to kill Thorn, or to hold his family ransom.

Still wondering how the safe ties in.
Yes, nina, Sam is a first person...

Now we come to one of my favorite parts of any episode - the multiple scene denouement. I didn't know how the safe tied in at first, but now I see it's to bring in yet one more copy of the First People book. My favorite theory is that Sam is a First Person, but I'm satisfied with knowing that he wrote the book at all.
An aside - the unspoken apology between Walter and Simon was fantastic.

Yeah, in my last blog post I mentioned that Peter might love Fauxlivia...
Good episode. I like the plot point of Peter & Olivia's relationship. And Alt world next week!

The fact that Peter still has feelings for Fauxlivia isn't a huge problem (except for Olivia, of course). The thing that Peter must tease out is which Olivia he loves. Of course he's attracted to both of them - they are the same person. But they are also unique individuals, and he'll need to pick one.

Fringe: Reciprocity

2011-02-02T18:02:00.005-05:00

First of all, a giant pat on my back that they are using MY name for Fake Olivia: Fauxlivia. Woohoo! Clearly, they read my tweets...
Lots going on in this episode - the main story is the link between Peter and the machine, while the sub-stories are the assassination of the shape-shifters and the relationship between Peter and Olivia. Peter and the machine interact in the very beginning of the episode - the machine changes position, and Peter gets a nosebleed. For a while, it appears that the nosebleed is the only impact to Peter, but of course, by the end of the episode we know that there has been a bigger change. There are hints all through. When Peter first sneaks home, right after the credits, we know that he's up to no good. Later we see him carefully eying Dr. Falcon, presumably because he already knows that Falcon is a shape-shifter. Then there's Peter's resistance to Olivia reading Fauxlivia's files. He says this is so Olivia won't think badly of him, but in reality, it's because he knows Olivia will crack the code. And then there is the obvious lie to Olivia, immediately after she offers him a relational olive branch. (Note to Peter: lying to the woman you love just after she forgives you is not a good strategy).
A few important repercussions of this main story. Walter and Peter are now holding a secret from the rest of the team. If Walter's theory is correct, then what will happen to Peter in the future? Will the weaponization continue? What else has Peter gleaned from Fauxlivia's file and how will he use it?
Sub-story of shape-shifters. I really enjoyed how this ties back to Peter's shady past. Naturally he would have access to guns with silencers, know how to break into houses, etc. He was basically a criminal before he hooked up with Fringe division. This episode is a nice reminder of all that. Then there's the question that Walter asks him: if what he's doing isn't wrong, then why does he keep it a secret? I think there are two answers to this. One is that Peter keeps it a secret because that's in his nature. Thinking of that book in the last episode, Peter wants to find his own answers - he acts independently. He knows that telling the others will delay the mission and possibly jeopardize its efficiency. The other possible answer is that Peter does feel shame over what he's doing. After all, he's deceiving people he loves. It can't be easy to watch Olivia's frustration over being just one step behind.
Sub-story of Peter and Olivia's relationship. I really like how they're handling this. It's very believable. Olivia has had time to get over the sting of Peter's failure to recognize her alternate, and now she's able to think about what it must have been like for Peter. Yet at the same time, Peter is now throwing complications into the situation. He's read Fauxlivia's notes, so he now has a better understanding of what she was really thinking. How does it affect him, to realize that she was truly starting to have feelings for him? Is he wondering which Olivia he cares about? In addition, he lies to Olivia and is keeping a pretty significant secret from her. He must know that this will be a pretty big problem for her. Is he intentionally keeping her at a distance while he sorts through his own emotions? This is a great way to maintain tension between them without getting all Rachel-Ross on us.

Loose ends:
Peter's heart raced during the test. Nerves because he knew Falcon was a shape-shifter? Or something else?
Broyles' near accident while driving to Alpert's house. Last time we saw that, Olivia went to the other universe.
How did Peter read those hard drives?

Funniest moments:
1. When Walter "shows dominance" at the lab.
2. When Brandon is held at gunpoint and asks if he can swallow.

When Home Improvement Meets Home Cleanup

2011-01-22T12:11:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I marched to the Container Store, all excited to buy some custom shelving for our new and improved laundry area. Before I left, I started a load of laundry, and, since I had no where to put it, placed the brand new container of HE Tide on top of the stacked machines. I came home equally excited, full of plans to eat a good lunch then install shelves. As I walked back to the laundry room, however, I was greeted by this:

That's 150 oz of Tide, contained (thank goodness) in my tiny closet space. I was at a complete loss. So naturally, I called my friend Alicia, who generously came over to help me clean up and salvage what detergent I could. We finally settled on scooping the Tide up into a dustpan and dumping it into a large tupperware. We couldn't get the Tide beneath the washing machine, so we settled on leaving it there and allowing it to dry up. What a great surprise that will be in 20 years when we move!
Here's a picture of my friend Alicia:

Giving

2011-01-05T20:10:00.002-05:00

I'm reading a fantastic book* right now, The Meaning of Mary Magdalene by Cynthia Bourgeault, and I came across this quote this morning:
"I am one with the source insofar as I too act as a source by making everything I have received flow again." Raimon Panikkar

Reading this got me thinking. At Evergreen, one of the challenges for 2011 is to give one BIG thing away. And that's something that Dale and I were really struggling with. Reading this quote today opened my eyes to something that I think should've been obvious to me: There is a level of giving that goes beyond giving time, money, material items, and self. Yes, even beyond giving of oneself. This level of giving is not something that can be quantified. It's more than volunteering one's time in a ministry, or in serving others. It is giving beyond your ability to give - giving beyond what you have to offer. It is a quality of life, in which your self, in relation with others, is giving. You become a channel of the Holy Spirit, giving what you don't have to give. Are the other types of giving valuable? Yes. Are they necessary steps on the journey to this state? Absolutely. Am I there? Oh, NO WAY! But I have it as a goal now.

*NOTE: This book, while completely awesome, is something that many Christians will find frightening and heretical. So read with caution.

reverb 10, 12/13

2010-12-13T11:50:00.003-05:00

Action When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?

I know, but I don't know. In terms of my career, my next step is to polish my rough draft of my novel and start finding an agent. So that much I know. For the rest of my life, I'm at loose ends. Don't know where to look next. I've interviewed a life coach, and I'm considering working with her, but somehow I can't push myself to take the next step with that. Is that the right next step? I don't know.

reverb 10, 12/9

2010-12-09T14:26:00.003-05:00

Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

Well, it has to be Beth N's Halloween party. First of all, we don't get to go to a lot of parties. And while we did attend two lovely weddings, we got to dress up as characters from my favorite show, Fringe, for the Halloween party. I love a good costume party!
The people were dressed up to all different degrees: we had a sports family (complete with pregnant cheerleader), pumpkin, monk, white trash, and lots of wigs. I myself wore a wig, to be Fauxlivia, while lucky Dale just had to wear normal clothes to be Peter. The food was good - hot dogs, and the drinks were fatal. Seriously, whoever mixed my first Rum & Coke really just handed me a drink filled with Rum and garnished with Coke. I stayed on the porch, which was a good thing for people's eardrums as I consumed my Rum & Coke. There were lots of kids there, and roasting of marshmallows, and people played games inside. It was a good party.
I have some thoughts as to what parties will rock my socks off in 2011. My mom is hosting a family reunion, which I suspect will include some great moments!

Reverb 10, 12/8

2010-12-08T13:23:00.003-05:00

Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

Oh, this is a difficult one. I feel like I'll be bragging if I answer this. But I'll give it a go!
What makes me different? Is this what makes me different or what makes me unique? Because most of the differences I can think of aren't unique-maybe it would be easier to focus on unique. So what makes me unique? My DNA? Yes, plus my life experiences. But what else is there? Is there such a thing as "soul DNA"? Because my soul is also unique.
What lights people up around me? I know some people like the fact that I use my full name: Elaine Frances Bayless. That's a difference - I chose to keep my middle name rather than my maiden name. People enjoy laughing at my mispronunciations. Occasionally I can tell a good joke.
OK, my discomfort level continues to rise, I'm bailing on this one!

Reverb 10, 12/7

2010-12-07T14:49:00.002-05:00

December 7 – Community Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

While I spent much of this year deepening my relationships within existing communities, I did find two new communities this fall. One was in Nanowrimo, the National Novel Writing Month. Although I only went to one write-in, it was definitely a community of people participating. Online, on Twitter, in person, a diverse community focused on a single goal. It's something I plan to continue. I also was invited to join a small writing group. We've only met a few times, but that is a community I do plan to continue and connect with more deeply in 2011. It took me over a year, maybe two, to really find people to give me feedback on my writing, but now I do feel like I've been able to find those people to give me those invaluable critiques.

Reverb 10

2010-12-06T11:38:00.002-05:00

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

The last thing I made. This requires some thought. I make quite a lot of things: I cook, I cross-stitch, I write. So what is the very last thing? Christmas cookies. I baked Christmas cookies, intending to decorate them. I didn't get around to it, and now my husband is gobbling them as fast as he can! Before that? I guess I would say the cat cross-stitch is the last thing I completed. I have two cross-stitch projects currently going, but neither complete. And of course, I have two books I'm working on, a novel and a memoir.
Materials: For my primary creation, writing, the materials I use are the computer and my mind. I find it interesting that many people, when writing, don't necessarily create so much as recount. They are recounting experiences and events in new settings, rather than creating completely new characters. Of course writers, especially myself, draw from our lives. But I think most fiction writers would argue that we are still creating new situations and lives. For example, in my novel, I am dealing with the future. It's set in Raleigh, NC, so some things I can't change (Southern Weather). Other things I can create wholesale (college fashions for women).
Time: I am pretty good about clearing time in my schedule to create. Next year will bring some new challenges in that area, but I am preparing as best as I can for them. It will be interesting to see how it all plays out.

Thanks to Reverb 10 for getting me thinking!

Response to Entrada!

2010-12-03T12:44:00.000-05:00

How did I do in my predictions?
1. Alt-Broyles did way more than assist Olivia - he gave himself fully to her cause.
2. Fauxlivia did disappear at an opportune moment - I gave it a 20% chance.
3. Peter got in almost TWO hours of stomach-churning anguish, hurrah! And a little more at the hospital scene at the end.

Other thoughts about the episode. What will Fauxlivia and the Fringe division think of Alt-Broyles' disappearance? Surely Fauxlivia knows the truth, but what about the others? Will Fauxlivia change her mind about the other universe and try for peace? How will Walternate deal with Broyles' betrayal?

Does Fauxlivia really care for Peter? Nope. She may have sentimental feelings, given the keeping of the photos, but if she truly cared about him we would've seen it when she had the gun on him in her apartment.

Peter had yet another stupid moment, in Olivia's apartment, when Fauxlivia had the gun drawn on him. If he'd stopped to think just a bit, wouldn't he have realized that Fauxlivia was never going to kill him? He didn't have to just shoot himself up with the poison. That's my only criticism. Otherwise, I give this episode a standing ovation!

Next week promises to be just as good - I love how Olivia, freshly returned, will be working on a case about reanimation. What a great way to work multiple levels of the theme!

Olivia is coming!

2010-12-01T16:38:00.003-05:00

This is the season of Advent. A time of waiting for the celebration of Jesus' birth. And, this week, a time of waiting for Agent Dunham to come home from the parallel universe!
I'm very excited about tomorrow night's episode. It looks thrilling! How will Olivia get back? My money's on alt-Broyles assisting her. Will Fauxlivia return, die, or go into hiding? I suspect she'll go into hiding, because of course, that's the most thrilling option. I can't imagine how she would return, but maybe they've already planned for that - so I call a 20% chance that she'll vanish at the most climatic moment. Will Olivia discover what a dorkhead Peter's been with respect to Fauxlivia? Probably not in this episode. However, Peter will discover his mistake and I bet that's going to make for a lot of stomach churning anguish. (hooray! Who doesn't love seeing Peter go through stomach-churning anguish?) Once Olivia does discover, I suspect that will lead to big romantic complications. My vote? That the 2 of them move immediately into a post-relationship friendship, sort of Jerry-Elaine style. My prediction? The writers will have the 2 of them back together within 2011, this season or next. In other thoughts: I'm betting that Nina and Walter will not be shocked at Fauxlivia's exposure - there's a chance that Nina has already taken precautionary measure (I can only hope).
And of course, there's other concerns. Once they realize that Fauxlivia was setting them up, will our Fringe team continue to research and assemble the Machine? Will Sam help Olivia re-assimilate? Are there more Cortexiphan children for continued trips to the other side? Is Sam Weiss also the old man at the typewriter shop?

Advent is here

2010-11-29T09:49:00.002-05:00

It seems strange to say Advent is here, when Advent is all about anticipation and arrival. Advent isn't ever really here, is it? It's just always coming.
And yet, we are in the countdown to Christmas. Time to gift shop. Time to decorate. Time to make plans for 2011.
Here's my prediction for the end of the year: The next two weeks will go as slowly as cold molasses pouring out of a jar. The two weeks following will fly by in the blink of an eye.
I'm finally feeling well again!

Being sick sucks

2010-11-22T00:47:00.002-05:00

I've had a sore throat for about 2 weeks now. But as of Thursday, it's migrated into a full blown congestion cold. My throat is so swollen I can hardly stand swallowing and I have no voice. Seriously, my own mother didn't recognize me on the phone. Either I sound like a man, or I make weird squeaky noises. Oh, and I'm developing that awful reflex cough.
So there's my whine. I know that I am still better off than some obscene percentage of the world (in the 90's somewhere, I'm sure). After all, my only complaint is physical illness. But you know, it's really hard to focus on your blessings when your throat is demanding your full attention. Reminds me of Paul, talking about the Body of Christ. How hard it is to use the Body as a whole when one part is hurting.

Now that I've whined and gone all theological, I'll shut up. And yes, Mom, I'm calling my doctor tomorrow... :)

Fasting from TV

2010-11-08T13:38:00.001-05:00

Things get tough now for my TV fast. When I come home from group tonight, there will be TV on that I want to watch. Tomorrow, there will be TV that I want to catch up on. I need to hold to my resolution though.
A thought occurs: I probably should've set a deadline for my fast...

Meeting Expectations

2010-11-01T12:27:00.003-04:00

I have a destructive story about myself, and I keep repeating it. There's lots of ways to describe it psychologically, but I'm a writer, so we'll go with a narrative. I'm narrating a story about me (think Stranger than Fiction), and in that story, I consistently fail to meet expectations. I am a failure.

I'm done with that story. And I'm done with striving to meet other people's expectations. As a Christian, there is only 1 thing that matters: that I meet God's expectations. Not in order to be saved, but in order to live a life that is full, a life that is restorative and loving and joy-filled.

So I'm seeking to discover God's concrete expectations for me. I know the big picture: love others, live justly, worship God. But what is the nitty gritty? How does that look in the daily routines of my life? As I seek the concrete expression of living a God-centered life, I will be fasting from all TV except for Fringe. That's potentially 15 hours a week that I just freed up. (Shocked? Yeah, I was too).

Keep me honest, y'all.

Season 3, Ep 4 Observations

2010-10-20T15:17:00.004-04:00

This episode focuses on boundaries and relationships. In the beginning, Peter observes that everyone draws their our moral boundaries. Then we see Fauxlivia experience a moment of angst in the bathroom. Clearly she is torn by the thought of being unfaithful to her boyfriend in the Alt-universe. Her emotional loyalty supersedes her loyalty to the mission.

Newton attacks Fauxlivia later on, saying she's not fully committed. Does he know that Peter and Olivia are attracted to each other? In other words, is he pressuring Fauxlivia to have sex with Peter, or just to commit herself more fully? Or is there a third possibility: the idea that men can be swayed by sexual bonds, and so if Fauxlivia simply has sex with Peter, she will be more successful. Newton is clearly pushing Fauxlivia to take some sort of action, probably sexual - no doubt justifying the immorality of her actions as required by the war. (Although to be clear, I doubt Newton has morals or ethics, as a shapeshifter).

On the flip side, we meet 2 shapeshifters, Ray and Senator Van Horn, who chose to engage in sexual relationships and developed true emotional ties. Ray is so attached to his family that he refuses to leave them, trying instead to find a way to fulfill his mission and keep his family intact. This is in high contrast to Fauxlivia, who is destroying her own relationship in order to fulfill her mission. The irony is, of course, that Ray is a machine and Fauxlivia is a human.

In an especially tender moment, we hear Ray give an explanation for why he is trying to alter his mission - when he tucks his (step)son into bed. He explains that sometimes monsters are "sweet and pure." Obviously he's referring to his (step) son - a human he was taught to believe is pure evil but has learned is nothing of the sort. There were hints of Fauxlivia noticing this in episode 2 - as those from the other side continue to interact with us, they learn that the propaganda of Walternate is false.

The episode wraps up with Newton killing Ray because of his loyalty and then getting caught and thrown in jail. In the final scene we see Fauxlivia draw a new moral boundary, after more of Newton's goading, and invite Peter over for sex. It's a good way to bring the episode full circle - the one who chooses mercy and emotional loyalty dies and the one who chooses the mission is temporarily safe. However, I'm not convinced that Peter and Fauxlivia definitely had sex. They were on their way, but this is Fringe. What better way to twist the plot than to pick up at that scene and have Peter finally wake up and confront Fauxlivia?

Fringe Totally Looks Like

2010-10-15T18:45:00.005-04:00

My husband, a Hell's Kitchen fan, observed last night that the Fringe character Newton looks alarmingly like Gordon Ramsay. After he said that, we both kept waiting for Newton to scream "It's RAW" at someone. Naturally, it didn't happen, although given that this is Fringe, it very well could have...
My husband (who really ought to be a TV critic or some such) also recommended a brilliant crossover between Fringe and Lie To Me. See, right now, the Olivia from the other side is impersonating our Olivia. And while, sadly, she is fooling everyone else, Dr. Lightman wouldn't buy it for a minute. When Fauxlivia heard that the ShapeShifter was alive, her face was frozen in fear. Dr. Lightman would've staggered over to her, bent down to look up at her, and said, "See that - right there. That's fear, that is. What 'ave you got to be afraid of, luv?"
A more in depth review of last night's excellent episode, Do Shape Shifters Dream of Electric Sheep, is on the way.

Being kind

2010-10-13T08:17:00.003-04:00

I watched Ellen at some point this week and when she ended the show she said, "be kind to each other." And I know that's probably related to the Trevor project, etc., but you know, I think it's really great advice in general. It would be a great church benediction - be kind to one another. Kindness is highly underrated.
In my daily prayer book, the morning prayer ends with the statement: "we go in peace to love and serve the Lord, and to live our lives so that those to whom love is a stranger will find in us generous friends."
We need to be kind. I'm not just talking to Christians, but I do think that as a group, Christians (including myself) need to take this call very seriously and prioritize it. After all, kindness is fruit of the Holy Spirit - evidence that God is working to transform you.
In marriage, too, kindness goes a long way. We so easily forget to be polite and friendly to our spouses, but simple kindness, a thank-you, a smile, the word please (NOT spoken sarcastically) - these little things smooth life's daily speedbumps.
A lot of Christians like to point fingers and talk about sin. That's not kind. It's just not. It's also not proof that you're a Christian. Evidence of your faith comes from seeing the fruits of the Spirit, and as far as I know, Paul never mentions calling out someone else's faults as a fruit of the Spirit. Can we as Christians find a way to speak out against injustice and immorality with kindness? I think we can - we just aren't trying to.
So today, let's be kind. It'll be a challenge for me, I know. But it's worth it.

National Coming Out Day

2010-10-11T13:41:00.003-04:00

Today is National Coming Out Day.
Let me be clear: I am not taking a stand on alternate sexuality with this blog post. Those who know me know what I believe and what I support. That is not the point of this blog post.
The point is, when we will find a way to move past having to "come out"? The very phrase designates LGBT people as different, people who are hidden and must reveal themselves. Several years ago, there was a lot of pressure on Rosie O'Donnell to come out. I felt that was unfair. Rosie O'Donnell is an entertainer. Her sexuality is her business. Just as no one pressures Oprah to declare her heterosexuality, no one should force Rosie or Ellen or anyone else to declare his/her sexuality. That's equality. When we make sexuality an issue, we are creating inequality.
I do not think a culture of secrets is healthy. People of alternate sexualities should have the right to be open about their preferences. So I can see how a Coming Out day is a step in the right direction. But it still supposes that LGBT is a separate group - people who are different fundamentally than heterosexuals. Language is very powerful. When will LGBT people cease to be seen as a minority group that have secret lives in some closet? How can we move towards that goal? What is the next step after National Coming Out Day?

One last thought. If you aren't planning to have sex with an individual, then why does her/his sexuality matter to you?

Bullying

2010-10-08T12:27:00.002-04:00

http://www.examiner.com/tv-in-national/it-gets-better-video
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
http://www.religiondispatches.org/archive/sexandgender/3479/why_anti-gay_bullying_is_a_theological_issue/

There's been a lot of talk lately about how bullying is negatively impacting LGBT youth - 4 suicides in the last month. I've read the blog posts and seen the videos, and I have a point of my own to make. What is the relational way to deal with this issue?
Hugh Hollowell, someone I respect deeply, ministers to homeless people through building relationships. When he is asked how to handle an encounter with a homeless person, his response is to do the most relational thing you can think of. Don't just buy a meal, eat the meal with that person, etc. And I think that might be what's missing in all the uproar about bullying. What is the relational way to deal with this?

Bullying is not just a LGBT issue. The two boys who shot up Columbine High School were victims of bullying. Bullying affects all our kids, and we can't just lean on the government or the pulpit or nonprofits to resolve the issue. We need to take relational action - personal action. Bullies are not kids who are living happy, well-adjusted lives. They are in pain as well. I'm not a mom, but I always thought that if I were, and my kid were being bullied, I would work to build a relationship with the bully's parents. I would try to take action to help the bully, as well as protecting my kid.

So yes, let's pray for change. Let's teach our kids how to stand up to bullies. Let's encourage acceptance and tolerance of people who are different in any and all ways (wearing glasses, being smart, being LGBT, wearing out of style clothes, liking classical music, etc.). But let's not just focus on institutional change as our salvation. We need to be part of the solution, in a deeply personal way. We need to build relationships - figure out why kids become bullies and try to mentor those kids.

I may be completely off base - mothers, feel free to correct me. But I think the issue of bullying must be addressed personally and relationally. No amount of laws, preaching, or non-profits (no matter how helpful they may be) will stop the problem if we as individuals do not take personal action in prayer and relationship.

Fun Song Title Challenge

2010-09-27T11:46:00.003-04:00

Using only song names from ONE BAND OR ARTIST, answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title.
My artist is Tori Amos

1. Are you male or female? Girl
2. Describe yourself: "The Beekeeper" and "Baker, Baker"
3. How do you feel about yourself? General Joy
4. Describe where you currently live: Dark Side of the Sun
5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go? "Maybe California," "Don't make me come to Vegas," and "Welcome to England."
6. Your favorite form of transportation: Bouncing Off Clouds
7. Your best friend is: God, Happy Phantom
8. Your favorite color is: Scarlet's Walk and Code Red
9. What's the weather like? Your Cloud
10. Favorite time of day: A Silent Night With You (The you being hubby Dale) or "In the Springtime of His Voodoo"
11. If your life were a TV show, what would it be called? Secret Spell
12. Describe your love life: Another Girl's Paradise and Little Earthquakes (haha)
13. What is life to you? Precious Things
14. What is the best advice you have to give? Police Me
15. If you could change your name, what would it be? Talula
16. Your favorite food is: Doughnut Song
17. Thought for the Day: You Can Bring Your Dog
18. How you would like to die: Putting the Damage On
19. Your soul's present condition: Fast Horse, Witness
20: Your motto: Pretty Good Year

Rome, Day One

2010-09-22T13:56:00.007-04:00

blog secrets

2010-09-01T11:38:00.002-04:00

There are times I don't post to this blog because I lack inspiration. There are other times when I have so much inspiration I could blog a book, but I can't because it's too private. The thing is, I'm just old school enough to remember that the Internet is forever. If I badmouth a person or a company, there can be consequences for YEARS.
I'm also married to a pretty private person. Although Dale is screamingly hilarious, he is reluctant to write blog posts (a loss to the world, I assure you). In addition, he prefers that I post nothing personal, which I respect.
All of which to say, I haven't posted recently. Maybe it's because I lack inspiration. Or maybe it's because I'm dealing with personal things. I'm just a woman of mystery...

The Hangover, Raleigh Style

2010-08-17T22:10:00.010-04:00

We woke up in the parking lot of JR. A strange smell pervaded the car - cheese and garlic...
We got out of the car in a daze, looking at each other.
"Are you Beth Parent, world famous author of Onward Hoe?" I asked.
"Why yes, I am. Are you Elaine F. Bayless, world famous author of Birds, Bees, and Church Trailer Thieves?" she replied.
"Yes I am."
"Where are we?"
"We're at the ULTIMATE SHOPPING ZONE," I replied, gesturing at the sign.

"But how did we get here?" she asked.
"I don't know, but I think there are some photos on this camera," I replied, and we began to look through them.
At first, we saw only confusing photos of some strange hair styles.

But then we saw some more revealing photos.
"I think we were in Wilkesboro," said Beth. "I grew up there. Yes, this is definitely the Wilkes Co. Library."
"And is that, is that?"
"Yes, that is Zach Gali,,, gali,,, well, that's Zach the really funny guy from the Hangover."
"Oh my gosh! Look, you're making him laugh!"
"No kidding! I wonder what I said that was so funny?"
"Not sure, but it was good."
"So how did we get to Wilkes County?"
I shrugged. "That's not my car," I pointed to the vehicle we had awoken in.
"It's mine."
"Strange," I said. "And I think that smell... Yes, look, that's the pizza I had for lunch! It's all coming back to me now."
"But if we went all the way to Wilkes County and I don't remember that, what else happened?"
"I don't know," I replied, a chill to my heart. I caressed the beautiful emerald ring on the ring finger of my left hand. "And I don't know where this came from, but I'm keeping it."
Beth nodded in agreement, then looked up at JR. "Well, we might as well shop," she said, and I agreed.

Rebellion

2010-08-16T08:24:00.002-04:00

I have been counting calories (only 1500 per day) since January. I've lost, oh, maybe 5 pounds, depending on the day and my water weight. I've been hungry a lot. For hours a day. I've been working out, doing cardio and hot yoga.
And today I woke up and just wasn't ready to do it anymore. So I poured a big bowl of cereal - no counting of the mini-wheats today. I didn't go on my morning bike ride, because my body was sore all over. This week, I'm just rebelling. I just ain't doing it this week, I'm not counting calories, I'm not trying to make good decisions about what to eat, not going to work out unless I want to, etc.
I'm sure this is a temporary rebellion. If not, oh well. I'm healthy, I'm at a healthy weight even if my body isn't cover girl perfect, and I'm just plain tired of being hungry all the time. Eat protein. Nope, still hungry. Eat vegetables and fruits. Nope, still hungry. Wanna know what quenches my hunger? carbs and sugar.
So i'm just going to let myself go this week, give myself a week off from all my disciplines. Tomorrow I'm planning to join a road trip to go see a comedian do children's story hour at a library. This is a week to relax.

Waiting on Godot

2010-08-09T19:14:00.002-04:00

We are in a season of waiting. Poor Dale has been waiting to find out if he has a job since June. He finally interviews on Wednesday, and we're really hoping he finds out next week if he gets to keep his job. (I'm completely confident he will).
Waiting for this has definitely put a lot of waiting in some other areas. We want to do some work on the house, but can't really make decisions until we know about the job situation. We are considering some other big decisions and those also must wait. All of our travel for the rest of the year, including a potential mission trip to Guatemala for me, are waiting on this decision.

I hate waiting.

Psalm 46:10 says Be still and know that I am God. But the Robert Alter translation says Let go and know that I am God. I need to let go. God has it all under control, and the waiting is not just wasted time. There are things we must attend to. And hopefully, sooner rather than later, we'll be moving forward again.

Let the Buying Begin

2010-07-30T10:19:00.002-04:00

At Amazon

At Booklocker

The sheer goodness of life

2010-07-19T11:16:00.002-04:00

There are times when I feel broken down and beat up, sore-hearted for this world filled with pain, a world where God's will is not done and so many suffer. There are times when I just cannot believe how rude someone is, or times when I want to strangle every driver on the road. There are even (gasp) times when I come home from work and don't want to say a word to anyone.

But.

My life is amazing. Ever since our pilgrimage last month, I've been reminded constantly at how awesome the life I'm living is. I am working my dream job. I have time to pursue a second career in writing. I have a husband who is compatible with me, who adores me, who makes me laugh, and who comforts me when I cry, and calls me out on my B.S. I have three cats, two of whom are fantastic and the other, well, she can be amusing at times. I have a house. We have no debt. I am healthy. I get to eat what I want to eat, when I want to eat it - I can choose to restrict my calories or binge. I have a relationship with God that sustains and fulfills me. I am literate and have basic human rights regardless of my gender. I have the right to vote. I have friends and family who love me and who I love. Life is good.

Happy Friday!

2010-07-09T13:39:00.002-04:00

It's a good day, the start of what will hopefully be a good weekend. We've got 2 parties to attend, woohoo! This seems like work to poor Dale, but I'm looking forward to it. In addition, we have a photographer coming in to attempt a "family" photo - a picture of me, Dale, and the 3 cats. Yes, yes, I know it's all very unlikely to happen, but we can always hope for the best. And maybe slip a benadryl into the cat food Saturday morning...
I'm busily perfecting my first three novel chapters - an agent actually wants to read chapter 1! So I'm going to work on the first 3 chapters, so if she likes 1, I have some more polished material to send. I still need to wrestle with the entire work, all 200+ pages of it - get it all into the right timeline, the right verb tenses, and oh, a consistent narrative voice. Minor details.

Highlights of the monastic life

2010-07-05T16:35:00.002-04:00

Dale and I spent last week at a monastery in Conyers, GA. It was very relaxing. Sure, we had to get up at 3:45 am for the first prayer of the day, but in between services we could sleep, read, do whatever. And no cooking! Just having one whole week off from the whole "what do you want for dinner tonight" discussion was worth every penny we paid. I highly recommend this, if you're looking for a week off and some spiritual contemplation. Not that we had to go to the services, but we did.
Some highlights:
The ducks at the lake are so aggressive that they nipped at my toes to see if they were food. They were disappointed.
I locked myself out of my room at 3:55 am, so I attended Vigils barefoot. No one noticed.
While the rooms were air conditioned, the abbey was not, so services were occasionally quite sweaty.
While sleeping in the meadow in front of the abbey, a bird pooped on my jacket.
Overheard: "I used to get poison ivy terribly, but then I ate some and ever since I haven't had it."
Discovering a wasp nest on Station 12 of the outdoor Stations of the Cross and getting away from the attacking wasp!
Being reminded that God's presence is constant; it's just a matter of paying attention.

You might be a pastor if:

2010-06-19T18:42:00.002-04:00

10. You are incapable of giving a simple "yes" or "no" answer to a question about the Bible
9. You not only own several different Bible translations but you've read them all
8. Your job responsibilities range from unclogging toilets to praying on Sunday mornings.
7. You see great sermon illustrations in random movies and songs. (Bonus points if they involve Lady Gaga).
6. It's not uncommon for you to be booked every night in a week.
5. People think you know everything about everything and so constantly ask you questions.
4. In reality, you know about 75% of 75% of everything, but you often can't answer questions due to confidentiality.
3. Your spouse refers to you as his "full-time ministry."
2. You spend random Thursday nights driving relative strangers to shelters and other institutions.
1. You think that these institutions look like pretty cool places to volunteer, in all your "spare" time...

progress

2010-06-18T10:36:00.002-04:00

One final proof-read and book cover revision and my book will be OUT! Very exciting stuff!!

Nerves

2010-06-15T22:36:00.002-04:00

Tonight I read the first draft of my first chapter of my novel. And MAN, I was a nervous wreck! Every time I take a step to make this book a reality, it becomes scarier. The writing was well received, but I'm still jittery. One of the writers stated why I'm so nervous pretty succinctly. She noted that it's ballsy to write about abortion, since no matter what I say, half my audience will hate it. And that's true. People in my own church will find it difficult to support me and this book. But if I ever felt like God was telling me something specific - it is to write this particular book at this particular time. And maybe it won't get published - but I sure think God wants me to try to publish it.
Whew!

Ignorance

2010-06-09T11:32:00.002-04:00

There are many things I know nothing about. I know nothing about raising children. i know nothing about owning an indoor dog. I know nothing about brain surgery. I know nothing about cooking Asian food. I am willing to admit my ignorance in these areas.
Recently, on my FB page we've been discussing a rude person who has left gigantic dog poop in our lawn twice in the last 6 months. And it's been left multiple days - so this wasn't a case of someone who just forgot a bag and then came back - it is someone who is deliberately leaving behind dog poop, in my yard.
I was speaking with a friend who dogsits, and he pointed out that one time, he had already used the bag and the dog pooped a second time. Now, he's a conscientious person, so he came back with a second bag and cleaned up that same day. But it got me wondering - how hard is it to reuse a bag that has dog poop in it? Opinions?

Who's telling us what to wear?

2010-06-08T09:00:00.003-04:00

It seems to me that for centuries, men have been telling women what to wear. Now this includes gay men telling us both what to wear and what not to wear. Additionally, women have been telling ourselves what to weigh and how to look: weigh less, wear makeup. And what have men been primarily telling us about clothes? Don't wear our clothes. Don't wear comfortable, practical clothing that is tailored to your body without being too tight (ie, I wish I could buy a shirt tailored to my neck and arm sizes!).
I wish I could be like Diane Keaton or Ellen and rock the man clothing look. And maybe one day I will be confident enough to do so. Right now I'm too invested in the myth of being pretty and feminine. I like it. How much of that is cultural vs. my own personality, I don't know.

But you know what: let's stop letting other people tell us what to wear and what not to wear. Let's wear comfortable shoes and practical clothing. Let's weigh a healthy amount and not worry about gaining a few pounds for the winter. Real men, worthwhile men (at least all the ones I know), couldn't care less about sexy clothes. They see our beauty regardless.

Counting my blessings

2010-05-28T11:18:00.002-04:00

A new version of 7 Quick Takes.
1. I get a full day off to devote to my writing EACH WEEK!
2. My "children" are cats with eating disorders. Compared to what mothers deal with, this is a ridiculously enormous blessing.
3. My husband supports & loves me 100%, respects me, makes me laugh, and isn't afraid to call me out on my BS.
4. My church family loves and supports me, even now that I'm an employee.
5. My job requires me to take at least 2 weeks of personal vacation to seek God.
6. I have close friends in several states, who love me even though I'm not great at staying in regular contact.
7. I live with a daily abundance of God's grace that I can never, ever, deplete.

A cry for help!

2010-05-25T17:06:00.001-04:00

I need to provide 2 - 3 paragraphs about myself for the back of my book. But I am suddenly paralyzed with shyness. I think this is the most difficult writing assignment ever.
Any suggestions? Or if you have a paragraph to share about me, please put it in the comments.

Fringe, Over There, II

2010-05-24T14:49:00.005-04:00

I'm writing my own analysis of Fringe, although there are many who do it better (naddycat), I thought I would post some of my own thoughts and theories.

When our team crosses over, they find a world that answers many questions and brings up many more.
Bell reveals that all communications are monitored, musing that that must be the explanation for the Central Park ambush. The question that arises, then, is about Nina's messages to Walter. If they are being intercepted, that explains why he doesn't answer. But how is he not under suspicion for receiving messages from the other universe? On the other hand, Bell made the shape shifters. Perhaps he hides Nina's messages with the messages from the shapeshifters. Which begs the question of why he doesn't answer Nina.

We learn that they use quarantine amber to contain wormholes that cannot be stabilized. Bus scene from The Ghost Network, anyone? It's clear that the ZFT terrorists were using Walter's hit book ZFT, which is published on the Other Side. The ZFT book is connected with David Robert Jones, who called Olivia a soldier and tried to recruit her for the war. So ZFT was likely written after the Cortexiphan trials. Which brings up two questions: did they invent and use Cortexiphan on the Other Side? And was the war coming prior to Peter's kidnapping? If not, then why were Bell and Walter preparing the kids with Cortexiphan?

We see that Walternate is very cold and professional, even with Peter. There is no emotional embrace, no softness. Is this Walter's personality, or is it because Walternate is planning to use Peter and therefore doesn't allow himself to get close to him?
Walternate tells Fauxlivia that the people from our side are "monsters" under their skins. This ties in nicely with what Bell and Walter used to be: monsters who experimented on children and adults without informed consent. Indeed, while Walter regrets his actions, Bell is unrepentant and proud of their work on the Cortexiphan kids. Is Walternate as ruthless as Bell? Or Nina Sharp?

A few minor points. After the first half of The Other Side, I predicted that Fauxlivia dyes her hair. I don't believe Olivia would waste time dying her hair blonde constantly. I'm taking Olivia's quick location of the correct shade of hair dye as confirmation that I was right!
Originally, the return plan was for Olivia to open a crack, which obviously wouldn't have been possible once Fauxlivia switched places with her. But when they started their machine, Bell said a crack was opening. So the machine opened the crack, not Fauxlivia. Is that a continuity mistake?

The Purell incident of 2008

2010-05-21T12:25:00.002-04:00

Back in 2008, Dale and I had a little Purell incident at church. I believed I may have blogged about it. However, here's a refresher:
We were gathered in Knoxville for a big family Christmas and my 2 nephews were seriously ill. So Dale and I went out and bought Purell and Zicam as preventative measures. We were Purelling every 5 minutes.
At the Christmas Eve midnight service, we went up to the high altar of my parents' church to take communion. This was a very formal service. Think Duke chapel with professional musicians. Very beautiful. So there we are, kneeling at the rail, and Dale hears a "spurt" sound and looks over to see me Purelling. I pass the Purell to him, and he looks at me indignantly and pockets the Purell. He was deeply offended that I chose that particular moment to Purell.
The funny thing here is that I was deeply offended that he pocketed the Purell. Because it wasn't ours. It was sitting, open, on the railing when we got up there. I assumed it was the church's way of decreasing germs. So while Dale couldn't believe I Purelled before consuming the Lord's Supper, I couldn't believe Dale would steal Purell from a church!

Flash forward (not the show, that's been cancelled), to last weekend, when Dale and I were in Knoxville. We walk into my parents' church and the first thing we see is a large Purell container on a stand, right there in the front lobby. I guess you never know what kind of impact your actions will have...

All my Friends are Funnier than Me

2010-05-20T09:33:00.002-04:00

Recently I was complaining because the Media is OBSESSED with Supreme Court nominee Kagan's religion. They keep talking about how if she gets in, the court will have NO Protestants.
First of all, people, this did not happen overnight. The majority of the current Court have been nominated in the last 30 years (Reagan administration). If you were really worried, then maybe someone should've spoken up in the 90's, or during Bush's 2 nominations.
Second, my friend Alvin has this to say:
How about we focus on the fact that there are no Zoroastrians, Wiccans, Taoists, Buddhists, Heaven’s Gate, Transgender, Post-Op Transexuals, Flying Purple People Eaters, or worst of all NO ASIANS. It’s unacceptable that in this day and age, that a collection of 9 people does not accurately reflect and represent the diversity of 309 million Americans. The only minority accurately represented are the gays since we know that Samuel Alito’s has a gay foot. Oh and Scalia has a Mormon nipple.

Seriously. Why are all my friends so much funnier than me?!!!

Noon already?

2010-05-13T12:00:00.000-04:00

That means only 9 hours til Fringe!

putting together a book

2010-05-11T14:27:00.000-04:00

I've been spending my day putting together my book - getting it all formatted correctly for the printers. Ran into an unexpected snag when I realized that I don't have 100 pages of text. I figured I would, but I'm about 30 pages short. And I'd like 100 pages... So I have 2 unfinished stories that I'm revising and considering. The beauty is, I'm also thinking of putting in an excerpt from my novel. That would be pretty cool...

Bayless weekend, 7 quick takes

2010-05-03T16:29:00.002-04:00

1. Friday night we booked hotels for our trip to Italy this fall!
2. Saturday we did yard work, grocery shopping, and watched tv.
3. Dale made a French silk pie Saturday night.
4. Sunday we attended the hottest church service in the world.
5. We also got to hang out with our friend Kerry, who we fed rum and cheese and French silk pie to.
6. We both took Sunday pm naps, which I'm sure had no relation to the aforementioned rum & pie.
7. I tried a Sunday night ritual (decided that I need one).

Another conversation with Dale

2010-04-30T09:45:00.002-04:00

Dale: Apparently Sharon Osborne is getting her breast implants removed and giving them to Ozzie.
me: Why is she removing them?
Dale: I don't know. Maybe they're hard to maintain.
me: What's to maintain? They're just bags of fluid - there's no maintenance.
Dale: Maybe Ozzie will use them as paperweights (laughing).
me: That's awesome. You know, if I get cancer and then get implants and then die before you, I want you to remove my implants and use them as paperweights on your desk at work.
Dale: that would be great!
me: Yeah, cause people would totally think they were stress balls and come up and start squeezing them and be all like, "what's this, a stress ball?" And then you would be like, "no, those were my wife's breasts," and they would all freak out.
both: laughing.
me: But you're making this up about Sharon Osborne, right?
Dale: No, for real, she's having them removed.

I have not tried to verify whether Sharon Osborne is having her implants removed...

Latest hypothetical conversation

2010-04-27T10:28:00.003-04:00

Dale and I, while enjoying the hot tub Sunday night, had the following purely hypothetical conversation.
me: If we accidentally got pregnant with twins, wouldn't it be cool to name them the male and female versions of the same name? Like Michelle and Michael?
Dale: I don't know.
me: Or like John and Jean.
Dale: How about Luke and Leia?
me: no, ewww.
Dale: Hey, Luke is a Biblical name. And so is Leia.
me: No, Leia's not Biblical. But Leah is. Leia is a pretty name. But what about the same name, just different genders.
Dale: And Luke and Leia make us sound like Star Wars nerds.
me: No, what makes us sound like Star Wars nerds would be if we named them Annakin and Amidala.
Dale: Good point.
me: So what about the same name - you're missing my point.
Dale. I'm not missing it, I'm ignoring it.
me: But wouldn't it be funny? Like Robert and Roberta?
Dale: Or Charles and Charlene?
me: Or Gene and Jean?
Dale: yeah, that would be funny.
me: yeah, we could tell everyone at Evergreen that we named the kids that as revenge, because we know they all wanted us to have babies.
Dale: Yeah, they'd be like which gene do you have, Penis Gene or Vagina Jean?
me: laughing
Dale: And then we'd just call them Penis and Gina
me: laughing.
Dale: laughing.
me: But I like the Hebrew option of naming them with full sentences.
Dale: Yeah, that's always good.
me: Or we should name them after qualities, but not qualities that everyone uses like faith, hope, or joy.
Dale: Yeah. We should use Generous
me: And Stalwart
Dale: Yes, Generous Prosperity.
me: laughing
Dale: And Stalwart ...
me: Fortress!
Dale: Yeah, that wouldn't get them beat up at all.
me: No! Who would dare to beat up Stalwart Fortress! What an awesome name!

And that, my friends, is how Dale and I decided that if we had hypothetical boy & girl twins, we would name them Generous Prosperity and Stalwart Fortress...

Fringe tonight!

2010-04-22T17:16:00.002-04:00

I'm looking forward to tonight's Fringe (duh). I suspect that the twitterati will again jump on any similarities to XFiles and I will happily rebut them tomorrow... After all, the shape-shifters are coming back, and while they do their thing with cool technology instead of by just being aliens, that is a similarity to XFiles. Hey, at least their blood doesn't come out in a toxic cloud!

Fringe and Xfiles are DIFFERENT

2010-04-16T11:40:00.002-04:00

Last night I noticed several tweeters commenting that Fringe was just a rip off of the X Files episode Monday. This comment has been made many times before - because Fringe has covered many similar themes to X files episodes. I would like to point out, however, that both shows, while excellent sci-fi FBI shows, are really quite different in thematic content, explanations, and general story telling.
We'll start with White Tulip vs. Monday.
In White Tulip, we encounter a bad guy (Robocop, or as my husband likes to call him, Robert O. Kopp), who can time travel. The only drawback? Wherever he lands, he sucks up all the energy present, killing anything living around him as well as sucking all the energy out of phones, lights, batteries, etc. He appears on a train, killing several passengers, which brings the Fringe team in to investigate. It turns out that the bad guy, Dr. Peck, is on a mission. His fiance was killed 10 months earlier, and he plans to save her life. He even has a plan to avoid killing others - he will land in a field where there are no people present. The beginning of the episode plays off the time travel by having the train event happen twice. Then the story moves forward, as Walter confronts Dr. Peck and tries to convince him to abandon his plan, Dr. Peck goes ahead with his plan but with a twist, and Walter finds an unexpected miracle.

In Monday, we see Mulder wake up late because his water bed springs a leak which shorts out his alarm clock. He runs to work, but has to deposit his paycheck or else his rent check will bounce. When he gets to the bank, a robbery is in progress and Mulder is killed. Then the scene resets with Mulder waking up to a soggy bed. This chain of events happens over and over, with variations - sometimes Scully goes to the bank for him, sometimes he is accosted by a woman who tries to warn him. Finally the woman tells him that they are stuck in some kind of time warp - that she has tried to change the future a hundred times but it always ends with disaster at the bank robbery. In the end, the woman dies saving Mulder's life and ends the cycle.

Parallels: Events repeat themselves. The person aware of the time repeats ultimately dies.
Differences: in Monday, we have no idea why there is a time loop. In White Tulip, the time travel creates the repeated events and a scientist is doing it deliberately.
In Monday, Mulder and Scully try many different ways to resolve the problem and fail each time. Ultimately, the only person who can stop the event is the one who knows about it. In White Tulip, Walter tries to resolve the problem by sharing his own, similar experience, with Dr. Peck. It is most likely this conversation which changes Dr. Peck's intent and resolves the issue.
In Monday, there is no redemptive theme for any character. In White Tulip, Dr. Peck provides Walter with the one thing he is looking for: a symbol of forgiveness for what he did.
In Monday, almost the entire episode is dedicated to the repeated bank robbery. In White Tulip, only about the first 20 minutes shows repeated events - then the story moves forward.
In Monday, only 2 people (Pam & Mulder) believe that events are repeating. In White Tulip, the whole team is basically on board with Walter's idea about time travel.

Need I go on? Probably not, but I will. I'll be going back and comparing other Fringe and X Files episodes that people claim are the same. I will say this: X Files was on for 9 years. It was a great show that covered a lot of sci-fi ground. It's probably impossible to create a show like Fringe and not cover some of the same themes and ideas that X Files covered. BUT, there are still important differences. In X Files, the bad guys were the government, and the problems were mainly caused by aliens. In Fringe, the bad guys are big corporations and mad scientists, and the problems are mainly caused by experiments on non-consenting people. Big differences.

7 Quick Thursday Takes

2010-04-15T13:37:00.002-04:00

1. All the broken equipment from last Sunday is now working again, praise God!
2. Only 7.5 hours until my favorite show, Fringe!
3. Pretty soon I'm heading over to New World where I'm gonna eat a cupcake for lunch.
4. I noticed in my hot yoga class this morning that my balance is actually improving!
5. Now that I Twitter, this quick take thing isn't quite as fun any more.
6. After a very windy spring, Dale and I have finally given in and are going to purchase TV again, because bunny ears are no match for wind.
7. But we're purchasing a $13 month package - the "broadcast" - so we're still saving good money!

Gardening

2010-04-10T17:16:00.003-04:00

Today I spent gardening! I'm hoping to develop the greenness of my thumb. I had $180 to spend at the nursery and spent $178 of it, pretty good! Then I planted. And planted. And planted.
I planted 3 kinds of ground cover under my cedar and dogwood trees - hoping to find one that really works. I planted some impatiens and petunias in the front of my front bed, so I'll still have some color there after the daffodils are finished. I did a ton of weeding in the backyard - nasty unpleasant sticky plants! Then I planted a bleeding heart plant and a hosta in my back garden - I hope it's not too sunny for them. I love bleeding heart plants. Finally I planted some more vinca and mondo grass. Slowly but surely, I will eradicate the Japanese weed grass that loves to take over the back yard. Then to top things off, Dale and I planted a variegated pink dogwood in the back yard. I think it will be very happy there, in the full shade of our tented yard.

Good Friday Prayer Vigil

2010-04-04T20:07:00.003-04:00

We had our annual Good Friday Prayer Vigil 2 days ago. It was really great, even if I did organize it and do half the work in setting it up. :) Just some of the conversations I had made all the work worth it - a friend and I slaved for 2 days straight to create a Stations of the Cross experience and I think it was really great. You can check out the album on my Facebook page. It was funny - I was a little disappointed in the turnout, but knowing how much people were touched by the experience makes me realize I would do it all again. It makes me think about all the effort God puts forth to save one person, to touch one person's life. Why should my ministry be any different?
Still, I'm very glad that I scheduled a pilgrimage for myself this week. I'll have time to rest and reflect in one of my favorite cities, DC, at peak cherry blossom time with warm weather! God is smiling on me.

Meditating on Moses, 3

2010-03-28T13:27:00.001-04:00

Today at church we had a time where people shared their fears. It was a very emotional time of sharing. People were sharing their deepest fears - their deepest pains.
I have had my share of fear and pain, but I am not in that place right now. But I was reminded of what God told Moses when He first called him: God had heard the Israelites crying out. Today I heard my church crying out, and I was convicted that my refusal to move forward with my calling is rebellion.
I know that my books will not solve people's problems. But I know that they will bring hope to some who need it. And to continue to withhold that because writing is so much work or because I listen to the voices of criticism or for any reason is to shirk my calling. So I'm going to keep writing and stop wringing my hands. God gave Moses a tongue to speak, and God has given me a brain and hands to write.

Easter S'mores

2010-03-26T13:15:00.003-04:00

So a friend of mine at church and I were talking about our love for Easter candy last year when we came up with a diabolical idea: Easter S'mores. It's simple, really. You replace a regular marshmallow with a Peep, and the chocolate with a Cadbury cream egg. Then you microwave. YUM.
It's that time of year, and so me and Randy will be making Easter S'mores this coming Sunday. I fully expect to gross everyone out with our twisted yet delicious snack, and I also am looking forward to the SUGAR HIGH!
I've googled this and as far as I can tell, it's an original idea. I'll be sure to post photos.

Meditating on Moses, 2

2010-03-23T12:01:00.002-04:00

Exodus 3:13-14 "Then Moses said to God, 'Suppose I go to the People of Israel and I tell them, "The God of your fathers sent me to you'; and they ask me, "what is his name?" What do I tell them?'
God said to Moses, 'I-AM-WHO-I-AM. Tell the People of Israel, "I-AM sent me to you."'"

Obviously I can't tell an agent that God sent me. I mean, I could, but I doubt that's going to be very effective. What is the underlying fear here? I believe it is authority - what God has authority to send people? Which God of their fathers is Moses talking about? The one who led them into captivity in Egypt? What does this mean for me and my writing? All I can think is that it is a clarion call to my inner critic - the Fraud Muse as a friend calls it. When she rears her ugly head, I can hold mine high and tell her that I AM has sent me. Or in the words of the Blues Brothers: I'm on a mission from God.

Meditating on Moses

2010-03-22T12:39:00.002-04:00

Exodus 3:9-12 Message: "'The Israelite cry for help has come to me, and I've seen for myself how cruelly they're being treated by the Egyptians. It's time for you to go back: I'm sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the People of Israel, out of Egypt.'
Moses answered God, 'But why me? What makes you think I could ever go to Pharaoh and lead the children of Israel out of Egypt?'
'I'll be with you,' God said."

I know God is with me. I spent a whole week last fall in the desert, experiencing God being with me. God and I just hung out, and God was with me constantly. It is reassuring to know that God is with me. It is still scary to think of taking action based on that. That's why I'm meditating on Moses this week. Moses had a passion to see his people set free, just like I have a passion to see people set free. Moses' passion exploded in the wrong time and caused him all kinds of trouble. I can't think of a specific example, but I know I've been looking for a murderous way to set people free and God has consistently denied me that (She even convinced me to be a pacifist!). And now I have a way - a path to bring people hope - my book. And I just feel like Moses - what makes God think I can do that? How dare I even say *I* can do that?

God is with me. Like a parachute. Now I just have to jump out of the plane.

ISO Big Hairy Audacious Goals

2010-03-21T20:08:00.002-04:00

Our pastor today continued his excellent series on faith, which you can listen to here. Dale and I had a good discussion afterwards. Basically, Ed talked about how Jesus seemed to be getting frustrated with the disciples because after the feeding of the 5000, they were still worried about little details like whether they had brought enough bread with them. They just weren't getting it.
It's funny for me, because I spent a lot of time searching for a BHAG (thanks, Pastor Mark), and actually gave up. I decided that quietly influencing a few dozen people at my church would be well worth it. And then, with this series, I took on the faith goal of getting my book published, a BHAG if there ever was one! Now I'm scared, and I also know that if I succeed, it will CLEARLY be an act of God.
So after the sermon, we had a time of feedback. And Dale noticed that people didn't seem to be getting it. They all talked about their "bread." He wanted to say something, but couldn't think of a loving way to do so. He's still looking for his BHAG. But he understands that there's more to life than the details of our own small needs.
One thing I observed and Dale agrees with is that realism gets in the way of these things. We set realistic goals - calling a faith goal something that is really just an achievable goal. But Jesus wants us to set crazy, unrealistic goals. Goals that require faith; goals that, if achieved, would show God's glory and God's handiwork.

On the plus side

2010-03-17T12:06:00.002-04:00

It was very interesting to read last night at writer's group. I only read the first half of my story, which is deliberately vague about a certain character. About a third of the people there were able to figure out that character's situation, which I like - it means I dropped enough hints but not too many.
However, there was something else. Several people picked up on a theme that I had not intended. However, knowing the parts I had already edited out, I knew that they were right - there is a second theme in the story which I hadn't discovered yet. It's really cool because their insights helped me see what was lurking beneath the surface of my story - and it makes the story that much more powerful. I'm definitely going to spend time exploring this aspect of the story.

What is going on?

2010-03-17T09:47:00.002-04:00

So I did some preliminary research yesterday and all of it points to one very daunting fact: I must finish my book before I can find an agent for it.
I have 50,000 words thrown together, all from differing points of view, with internal inconsistencies, and an unwritten climax that I just can't figure out. I feel very far away from even a first draft of the book.
So did I mishear God? I thought God was telling me to look for an agent, not finish the book. Was God telling me to finish the book, but in a roundabout way? Add all this to my Moses complex (Nah, God, really, you don't want to speak through me), and you've got one confused author.
But it's not all bad news: I attended writing group last night and got great feedback on my latest story. It's encouraging to know that at least 1 small group of strangers find my writing compelling.

The Boob Squish

2010-03-15T12:54:00.004-04:00

Yes, today I had my first mammogram. I was as scared as a wet cat surrounded by possums. My boobs started hurting pretty much the minute I got up.
Fortunately, I was well prepared. I took 10 mg of Valium (approved by my doctor) and had a friend drive me to my appointment. Not only did she drive me, she came in the room with me and held my back so in case I got light headed I wouldn't fall down. And then after the appointment we went immediately to Ben and Jerry's and I had chocolate ice cream.
As for the procedure itself: NOT BAD! I mean it. It was hardly even uncomfortable. Now, this is coming from a woman who willingly contorts into yoga poses in a 100 degree room, but I can tell you - I'd rather have another mammogram than do 30 minutes on the elliptical, at least in terms of comfort.
I'm 35 years old, and I had this mammogram because my cousin did a baseline at 35 and discovered cancer. I don't care what the new guidelines say - every woman needs to have a baseline mammogram, because now, when I go in again at age 40 or so, they will have something to compare to. Of all the procedures women have to have, I will tell you, this one is probably the least disagreeable.
So take care of yourself and your boobies!

Perspective

2010-03-14T21:32:00.002-04:00

Last week was a rough week for me. I got strep throat, had my period, and faced my fears by committing to look for an agent to publish my WIP. And during all this I was changing my anxiety medication, which resulted in some emotional upheaval to boot. (don't worry, I am working closely with my doctor).
And then, today, I read this. And I think about how blessed I am - that I can call a doctor and play with my medications, that I can get in to see a doctor immediately and get antibiotics, that there are never gunshots in my neighborhood (although there are gunshots in other Raleigh neighborhoods).
Kerry Smith is taking God-sized leaps of faith and I'm whining about how scary it is to find an agent.

Talking with God

2010-03-08T11:25:00.002-05:00

Yesterday our pastor gave a sermon on faith and taking risks for faith. At one point in the sermon, I wrote down in my journal my questions: why don't I feel like I'm taking a risk with my writing? Why isn't it scary? Well, then, at the end, he suggested we all write down a seed of faith we would plant this week. I quickly thought up one, a rather personal one which had nothing to do with my writing. And then the pastor continued, saying that we would turn in our seeds of faith and the prayer group would be praying over them this week. So I immediately decided to change mine. And that's when God snuck into my brain.
Get an agent to publish your book was the thought that snuck in. Now, let me tell you, my other idea was not NEARLY this terrifying. I fought back. No way, the book isn't ready to be published. Get an agent to publish your book. But I'm not ready to write a book. Get an agent to publish your book - once you have a contract you'll have time to finish writing it. No, I'm not ready. I felt like Moses talking to the burning bush, and I knew it. So I grudgingly wrote down this seed of faith and dutifully turned it in.
(A side note: our church isn't entirely creepy - I clarified after service that our prayer group won't actually be reading the seeds of faith, just praying over them).
So now I'm committed, and all of a sudden my writing is TERRIFYING. Not the search for the agent, but the possibility that someone might accept - that someone might actually decide, hey, that's a good idea and I want to publish your book. Maybe this is ridiculously optimistic, but on the other hand, it is also committing myself to an action that, if successful, will truly show God's power at work.
Let me tell you people - talking to God is risky business...

Great Lyrics

2010-03-07T14:08:00.004-05:00

In this day and age, when a hit song can seriously contain the lyrics "rah rah ah ah ah ah, roma roma mama, gaga, ooh la la," Dale and I feel that it's time to remind people that there used to be songwriters of high quality. U2 is a stellar example of songwriters who create moving quality lyrics. Their lyrics are not only mysterious, they are socially conscious and semi-Christian. And they are also perfect for those who are heartbroken or happily in love.
To showcase U2's quality lyrics, Dale and I have created a short audio montage, with appropriate images. If you can successfully identify all 21 U2 songs, using ONLY the movie, then you are a true U2 fan and we will buy you a copy of the latest U2 album. Put your answers in the comments section!
Deadline: Friday March 12. Be prepared to explain how you identified each song - remember, no Internet searching or album liner note checking - just watch the video. :)

7 quick takes

2010-03-04T15:10:00.002-05:00

1. I did hot yoga again this morning. While on one leg, I thought, I have lousy balance. Then I decided that from here on out I will instead think: I have improving balance. Which is also true.
2. Strangely, getting up at 5:30 am does not leave me feeling completely worn out all day.
3. Facebook ads aren't working currently, which is frustrating.
4. I spent an hour this morning sitting in the sunlight, drinking hot tea, petting Shadow, and praying. The perfect way to continue the day after 45 minutes of hot yoga.
5. I'm about to go talk to a local business to see if we can help each other out.
6. I miss Fringe, but tonight I'll head into Durham for a theological discussion.
7. I have a feeling that while I'll enjoy the discussion, I'll still miss Fringe...

Hot Yoga

2010-03-02T08:14:00.002-05:00

I'm laying on my back in a dimly lit warm room. There is a yellow fabric tube billowing slightly above my head, pushing steam in, I assume. I focus on my breathing - the heat makes my lungs contract but focusing relaxes them. People slowly file in, quietly rolling out their mats and joining me on the floor. Soon I realize that I am the only one with my head towards the far wall. I move my mat back and align myself with the others. The instructor comes in and we begin.
It starts with deep breathing, moving our arms. As my fingers reach toward the ceiling they feel the hotter air. My feet are still cold, but that doesn't last long. We move into poses and do leg lifts, lunges, crunches, and rotations. When we balance on one leg the room is filled with elegant flamingos while I flounder back and forth, my lifted leg constantly crashing to the floor.
When we finish the instructor whispers "Namaste" and I lay on my back, head towards the ceiling, breathing deeply. My legs are trembling and my abs ache. I sit up slowly and drink my water, sitting up as straight as I can as I gulp down the water. Eventually I get up and leave the room, the last one out. I think I'm going to enjoy hot yoga.

March 1

2010-03-01T12:39:00.002-05:00

I've figured out that March is my February. Everyone always complains about February - how it's depressing and feels like never ending winter. I like February because it has Valentine's Day and my birthday, and really, what's not to like about 2 gift opportunities in one week? But March, that is a different matter. In my mind, March should be the beginning of spring. By March, I should be shedding my sweaters and multiple layers and furry boots and wearing loose, brightly colored clothes. By March, my toes should be seeing the sun and I should be able to work in the garden and get sweaty. But March, alas, is usually a continuation of winter - cold, rain, wind. I don't like March.

Bizarre Stories

2010-02-26T10:08:00.002-05:00

So I've had a cab driver hit on me, a one-armed woman approach me while I was driving (getting out of her own car to do so and then going back before saying a word), a Seinfeld moment involving Purell and Communion, a fire alarm during a movie, a rattle in my car that no one but Dale and I can hear, a strange man follow me home because "you are so beautiful", a burglar alarm caused by nothing, seizures that aren't really seizures, and my car move on its own more than 1 mile while I was passed out having a non-seizure.
What bizarre things have happened in your life?

Writing Day

2010-02-23T11:00:00.000-05:00

Dale and I bought some of those fire logs, primarily to start fires with. However, today I'm quite happy to be able to light a merry fire with minimal effort. Here I sit, sunlight coming through the clouds into the skylights onto my lap, fat Pipsqueak laying on my hip, writing fiction and drinking tea. Life is good.

Interesting thought

2010-02-19T09:19:00.003-05:00

I did today's daily bible reading (you can get it by following ECChurch on Twitter). It was: Mark 1:23-45. And what struck me about it is the fact that even Jesus' plans got screwed up by other people. And Jesus just adapted. He healed a leper and told him to be cool about it, keep quiet, but the leper told the world (and indeed, it is hard to keep quiet when God blesses us in superlative ways), and thus Jesus had to keep to "out of the way" places. How frustrating that must've been for Jesus! Just starting out in His ministry, and boom, He has to avoid the very places where He could reach the most people! Yet Jesus doesn't look for the leper and punish Him - He just adjusts His plans.

Writing my dreams

2010-02-16T10:42:00.002-05:00

My dreams have gotten more vivid as of late. Perhaps it's because I'm sleeping better, who knows. But I've started writing them down as stories. What genre is this? I don't know. Are they any good? Well, they are certainly creative. I wish I could control this - dream what's happening next in the stories I'm really struggling with, but at least my unconscious is giving me something.

Valentine's Day - Happy or Heinous?

2010-02-12T12:04:00.003-05:00

Maybe it's just because I'm happily married and out of the shark-infested dating waters, but I like Valentine's Day. Of course, I always have. Even when single, I usually had some other single friends to hang out with. And what's wrong with a holiday that involves red roses and hearts? I like those things. I like chocolate too, and I'm not afraid to buy my own.
In fact, I gotta say, I think our current celebration of Valentine's Day beats the heck out of its pagan origins. According to Michael Judge, the original pagan holiday was known as the Lupercal. Highlights included killing a dog, sprinkling its blood on people, whipping people with thongs made out of its skin, and running around naked in the streets having sex.
So yeah, I think Valentine's Day today is not so bad. Even if you're single, celebrate the relationships you do have! Where is it written that you can't send cards and flowers to friends. Just don't imitate Andy from The Office when you send your cards...

No Fringe Tonight.

2010-02-11T09:27:00.002-05:00

There is, sadly, no Fringe episode on tonight. I will have to wait until April. It corresponds nicely to the season of Lent, as if God said, here, Elaine, why don't you fast from the awesome TV show Fringe? Hmmm, conspiracy theorists, maybe I have something here!
Fortunately, I have a very full life and can think of many other awesome activities to do tonight.
1. Go to a jewelry store to get my watch battery replaced and my engagement ring cleaned.
2. Go to the Apple store and drool over new computers.
3. Sit at home and fling my flying monkey towards the cats.
4. Drive out to Durham to sit in a pub and discuss theology.
5. Avoid working on my current cross-stitch project.
6. Avoid doing creative writing
7. Start making chocolate croissants for Sunday

7 More quick takes

2010-02-10T09:20:00.002-05:00

1. The applesauce muffins were surprisingly bland.
2. I subscribed to the Writer's Market and I LOVE it so far - made submission of my story SUPER easy and it tracks everything for me.
3. Runny and sneezy nose - perhaps it will flush out the nostril zit?
4. The wind today is making the building especially noisy. Crazy strong winds!
5. Too exciting things happening this week at work: final re-keying of locks and exchange of vending machine for one that WORKS!
6. Have a staff meeting tonight which I'm looking forward to. Either I'm crazy or I really love my job.
7. I'm hosting prayer group tomorrow at my house. Historically, this means that no one will come. Hopefully this week will break tradition.

7 quick takes

2010-02-09T08:49:00.002-05:00

1. I now have yellow AND white crocuses blooming! Also some lily of the valley in the backyard.
2. I'm going to make applesauce muffins today.
3. My reward for submitting a story for publication will be to get my free Godiva truffle and eat it.
4. I'm going to time myself and see how much time I actually spend writing today.
5. I've got a bowl full of veggies to keep my strength up while I write - healthy snacking!
6. Tonight we have a new installment of Lost, woohoo!
7. I also have 2 new flower catalogs to look at some time today - I LOVE flower catalogs!

Fringe Winter Finale

2010-02-05T11:51:00.002-05:00

Less questions than Lost, but just as mind-blowing.
The premise of the episode is that the bad guys are starting to play with smashing parallel universes, and in particular, the universe as a whole likes to be in balance. So, the bad guys transfer a NYC building, complete with occupants, into our reality. As a horrifying result, many people get glued together because they were occupying the same space in alternate realities. Not quite like what Nina Sharp demonstrated with the smashing snow globes. The worst part of this, according to Walter, is that now the universe is out of balance, and so within 35 hours (where did that # come from?), a building of equal mass in NYC will be transported back to the alternate world. We just don't know which one.
What are the implications for Peter? When Walter kidnapped Peter from the alternate reality, did some other kid get whooshed back as a result? My personal theory on this is that there was different technology in action. I believe that Walter used an earlier technology to get to Alt-Peter - the window that opens up where the 2 realities are close. This is the technology used by David Robert Jones, the technology that Peter and Walter had to close with the little ray-gun thing. This technology doesn't require equal mass transfers. The technology in this episode is not opening a window and moving things through it: it's actually moving things directly from one reality to the other. My alternate theory is that perhaps Walter did a body snatch and left dead-Peter in alt-Peter's bed, but I really don't like that idea.
On to the character development of this episode, which was excellent. Olivia agrees to be a human subject again for the noble cause of discerning which NYC building is about to pop away. She's always subjecting herself to ridiculous risks for the greater good - perhaps because of indoctrination by Bishop & Bell during the drug trials? But this time she gets angry. Confronted with her scared 3 year old self, she becomes infuriated at Bishop. We saw this fury directed at Bell last season, and to a lesser extent, to Bishop. But now it's all over. She is simmering and steaming and Walter finally realizes that this won't help - she has to be scared in able to use her power. But Olivia is never scared - yet another scarring from the early experiments. It's not until she's actually in NYC, facing the prospect of imminent failure and the loss of innocent lives, and the curiously inviting lips of Peter, that she gets scared. Voila, she is able to see the glimmering building and save the day.
But what was she scared of? I think she was scared of love. I have been opposed to a Peter-Olivia romance until this episode. But when they leaned towards each other and Peter moved in for the kiss, I was converted. Let it rock! However, I think the possibility of another romance is what really activated her fear - her fear of miseading the man again, her fear of being in another work relationship, her fear of getting close to anyone (she told John that she's "not good" at romance). Now, Dale disagrees: he thinks she was scared of failure. Maybe so, but I still think that the physical proximity of Peter and the kiss she suddenly realized was coming kicked that fear into high gear.
What do you think?

House!

2010-02-01T18:26:00.002-05:00

School was cancelled today (and tomorrow), so we aren't having our high school youth night tonight. Which means, yes, I get to watch House, on its airdate, for the second week in a row!! This ALMOST makes up for the fact that I will be skipping the Lost premiere tomorrow night. Skipping it, you say? Skipping the first episode of the final season of Lost? Are you kidding? No. Priorities, my friends, priorities. My writing group meets on Tuesdays, so I will be in Borders critiquing writing rather than watching the premiere of the month. So please don't spoil anything for me! I'll be watching Lost the INSTANT they get it online. :)

Living in a tent? Cave?

2010-01-31T11:17:00.000-05:00

Our skylights were immediately covered in snow, which is normal. However, due to the layer of sleet and ice that followed, the snow didn't melt off like it usually does. So we're sitting in our living room, remembering the dark depressing days before we installed the skylights! The light of the fire is one of our primary sources of light. It's a cozy feeling.