Based on the previews for Battleship, I think I can safely say that more Hollywood movies ought to be modeled on 80's board games. Here are some ideas that I think are worth exploring. I'm following the Battleship paradigm by assuming that any time plastic pegs are involved, they are aliens.

Mastermind

Nothing could be better suited for an alien vs. earth blockbuster than this nail biting logic game. Five different aliens ally to overthrow earth and take its resources for their own selfish uses. The UN quickly assembles a special committee, known as the MasterMinds. They must use their brilliance to determine the configuration of the alien ships in order to successfully mount a defense.

Trivial Pursuit

The aliens, pie shaped creatures that fly 6 to a pod, have infiltrated Earth via dogs. As dog owners around the US start noticing their dogs acting strangely, it falls to Cesar Millan to determine, by observation, which dogs are aliens and which are just stupid. This feel good alien invasion comedy relies on knowledge of "trivial" details. Get it? Trivial?

Twister

Aliens whose flexibility is matched only by their cunning are attempting to take over Congress by impersonating high class escorts. They implant mind control devices during intercourse. Their ultimate goal? To kill all women so that in the future, humankind becomes an alien human hybrid.

Connect 4

These aliens exist in a strange state called quadruples. Without three other aliens holding their hands, they are helpless. At first the US military tries to destroy them. But then they realize that a 4x4 is a better state, and mandate all marriages to be between an alien, an alien, an alien, and an alien.

Amazing Race 20, Leg 3

First off, I just want to say that the sooner Brendan and Rachel get eliminated, the better. I'm going to call them the Drama Team.
Second off, according the AR lore, the Border Agents will NOT win the whole race, because no one who wins the third leg has ever won the whole thing. I think I'm glad about this - those guys just rub me the wrong way.
Third, I suspect that the reason we didn't see much of the twins was because the Race producers knew they were out in this leg.
I was stunned that Team Army used their express pass and still came in 4th place. Bad move. Given how slow the twins and divorcees were at everything, I think Team Army could've saved the pass and still placed well within the pack. They will regret that move later, methinks.
Also, I was shocked at how many people chose to stack watermelons! Obviously these people have never tried to take fruit from the piles at the supermarket. As I told Dale, there's too much variation in natural fruit - at least the harps are an objective task. Once you master the stringing, it's just repetition. But with the watermelons, each melon must be placed perfectly, and placing 385 melons is a LOT of work.
Going on with the challenges, Dale and I were surprised that 1) no one else incurred the 2 hour penalty by breaking all the bottles and 2) this wasn't a non elimination round. It was such a tough round it seemed like a good choice for non elimination.
But then we got to the surprising tough finish. At first, when they were showing the divorcees and twins working on the tasks, I assumed the editing just made it look close and that the divorcees had already lost. But then they came together at the bottle challenge! I was rooting for Ralph and Vanessa. Yes, she was a little spiteful towards Rachel at the watermelon stand, but really, can you blame her? I want to slap Rachel across the face whenever she says anything. So when Ralph and Vanessa outran the twins, I was thrilled.
One final comparison. Vanessa and Rachel both had to run for the mat, and both collapsed on it. But Rachel turned her collapse into an Oscar tryout for Most Melodramatic, weeping even after she found out they were fine, while Vanessa pulled herself together and stood up like a real woman.

The coolest parents

I realized something today. When Dale and I look in the mirror, this is what we see:

But when Tori looks at us, she sees the Most Interesting Man in the World and the Most Beautiful Woman in the World. In other words, she sees something like this:


I figure we have about 13 years to enjoy this.

Amazing Race 20

Yes, this is the 20th season of the Amazing Race. Crazy! Dale and I have gotten sucked back in, so here are our thoughts about last night's episode.
The New Jersey dudes: OK, seriously, how do you even get ON the Amazing Race if you can't drive manual transmission? That's an insanely foolish handicap. Oh, and the question of the race is: will he maintain his fauxhawk? The Goths maintained their elaborate looks, so it can be done.
Pilot and heartland wife: Everyone will root for him because he's a hero, but if they are trying to reconcile there's gonna be serious drama.
Dating Divorcees: I like this woman for 2 reasons: she talked about her uterus being in her throat and she wanted to smash the empanada fillings into her face. Yep, that's my kind of gal.
Rednecks: Bopper calls empanadas pinata's. Mark tries to correct him and can't say it either. Hilarious. Although if Mark is going to get motion sickness every leg, they won't last long.
Border Patrol guys: Surprisingly unfit.
FBI gals: I wonder if they find it ironic that despite their impressive "masculine" talents, the final task of this week was a kitchen one. Hoping for great things out of this pair.
No one else is memorable to me yet. I felt bad for the sisters who were eliminated because of their inability to see Phil. That's a pretty epic fail.

There are no wrong decisions

I wrote that in an email to a friend last night, and I'm inspired to elaborate here for my few readers.
As Christians, we often get caught up in trying to determine God's Will For Our Lives. We put this big heavy label on our decisions, and soon, instead of looking at the general trajectory of our lives (are we becoming more like Jesus?), we are looking at our daily decisions: Should I get a Master's degree? What kind of car should I buy? Should I have a baby? Should I use "cry it out" to train that baby to sleep? Should I get another cat/dog? Should I hire a Christian plumber? Should I get a divorce? Should I vote Libertarian? Is it ok for me to drink alcohol when I'm stressed? Should I see a therapist? (and by the way, the answer to that question is ALWAYS yes)
Now, I'm not decrying the power of prayer, or the importance of weighing large decisions in a number of ways, including seeking advice, weighing pros and cons, and praying. But we get so paralyzed, and then we get so frightened of making the "wrong decision," that we get tied up in knots and we are no longer seeking Christ. What we really want is a guarantee - that if we pick the right option, we will win God's approval and be spared pain. We are seeking control, and using "God's Will For Our Lives" as an excuse.
Because there are no wrong decisions. At least not when it comes to God's love and blessing upon us. God will always love us. God will always bless us. God will always be there, holding on to us even as we make decisions that cause pain to others. And don't misunderstand me: there are decisions that hurt ourselves and others, and there are decisions that go against God's best desires for us. But God doesn't care. God will always love us.
I picture God as a lap. I close my eyes and feel God's arms around me, God's lap beneath me, God's warm maternal love pouring forth over me. Just like I'm a lap to Tori. As she cries and wails and tries desperately to stay awake (a decision that hurts her), I hold her and soothe her and pour out the best of my poor blessings that I have upon her.
Don't be so frightened. Let go of control. Remember that there are no wrong decisions - there will always be pain and there will always be God's love holding you fast.

The Adventures of Tori and the Cats, II

Pipsqueak pushed the bathroom door open with a vigorous head butt. Tori slung her head over to look at him as the door swung open. Pip stopped in his tracks. Green eyes met blue eyes.
"You're a cat," said Tori.
Pip nodded.
"I'm a baby," she added.
Pip came forward gingerly and sniffed the air around Tori's head. She brought her arm around to pet him the way Mama helped her to do, but there was a little too much force and Pip jumped back.
"What was that for?" he growled.
"Sorry, Mama does it better," she said. Tori shifted in her Bumbo. "She's in there," she continued, pointing towards the second door.
Pipsqueak nodded. "That's why I'm here. I like to roll around in the shower after she's finished."
"Roll around in the water?"
"Yep."
Tori and Pipsqueak regarded one another with mutual curiosity. Then the shower stopped and in a moment or two the door opened. Pip sauntered towards it. Tori sighed a small ah, and Mama's face appeared. She smiled widely at baby Tori, who gave her a Mona Lisa smile in return.

The Adventures of Tori and the Cats

Tori waited to make sure Mama and Daddy were both asleep. They stayed up so late, and often came in at the first sound she made, so she had learned to wait a while before her nocturnal wanderings. One of the cats was scratching at the door, but she would just have to wait. Finally, Tori stood up, climbed out of the crib, and standing on her tiptoes, opened the door. Duchess swirled into the room.
"What's on for tonight?" she asked.
Tori shrugged. "Is there a full moon yet?"
"No, not tonight. I keep telling you, it takes a full month. You know, moon, month?"
"No, I don't know, you stupid cat. I'm only 5 and a half months old."
"But you just used the word month!"
"Don't bother me with your cat logic." Tori stepped purposefully into the hallway.
"Wanna watch them sleep?" asked Duchess, hovering near Mama and Daddy's doorway.
"Oh puh-lease. The last time we did that you just curled up and went to sleep."
"Well, can I help it if they are oh so soft and warm? I don't know why you don't like sleep, after all, at your age you can get away with sleeping all the time."
"Sleep is bo-ring. Plus Mama and Daddy party after I go to sleep."
Duchess nodded. It was true, after all.
"How about we check progress on the house facelift?"
"OK."
The two conspirators went into the dining room, where Duchess lightly leaped up to the door trim where the key was held. Tori managed to unlock and open the door and they were out on the deck, in the cold moonlight. They crept around to the front of the house.
"Looking good!" said Tori approvingly.
"Yes, I like their color choices. That chocolate brown trim is lovely."
"I'm not crazy about the light brown siding though. Reminds me of the bathroom." Tori pursed her lips.
They walked all the way around the house, and then Tori gave a great stretch and yawn. "Time to go back in," tutted Duchess, who really just wanted to do some hunting in peace. Tori was not fond of the way Duchess ate her prey. Tori nodded sleepily and they went back inside. Duchess got Tori settled, then went back to the dining room. Only then did she realize her mistake - without Tori, she couldn't open the door! With a sigh, she went back to the Mama-Daddy room and curled up in between them for some nice peaceful sleep.