Do Animals Like to be Pets?

As mentioned before, this is a very rich and satisfying chapter. First we have the weird dolphin-goldfish hybrids. Now we have turtle abuse. Here's the very next lines:
"It's fun to have turtles for pets too, isn't it? But don't shut your turtle in a dark box, and forget him most of the time."
Uhh, ok. This is a little creepy, right? I mean, do we have to suggest methods of animal abuse to young children? Maybe a turtle manual would be a good investment for someone with a pet turtle. Did the author do this? Did her child do this?
Later in the chapter we have this: "Puppies like to play with you; but even they do not like to be treated roughly. Never hurt your pets by slapping them or throwing stones at them."
Wow. I must confess, I have never considered throwing stones at my pets. Or slapping them. Now, occasionally I have lightly tossed a cat who was, say, pulling chicken off my plate. But that doesn't count - cats always land on their feet.

Sermon marathon

Well, I did it. I successfully preached 3 times and listened to 42 sermons this week. And I enjoyed it. I think that just proves that I should be in seminary. Who else would enjoy listening to 42 sermons?

Do Animals Like to be Pets?

ah, this chapter has a multitude of interesting lines. We start out the chapter with the warning that animals only like to be pets "if their owners know how to take care of them." The first example is the goldfish. Did you know that goldfish need air to breathe?
"If the water in your fish bowl isn't clean and fresh, your poor fish will have to keep poking their heads out of the water to catch a breath of fresh air."
That's a pretty exotic goldfish. Almost like a goldfish-dolphin hybrid. One wonders how fresh air correlates to clean water. If I wanted some fresh air, could I just stick my head into a bowl of clean water for the same effect?
We'll deal with some of the other jewels in other posts.

So, PETA doesn't have a "no-kill" policy...

PETA euthanizes animals.
Now, I am a reasonable person. If an animal shelter on a shoestring budget decides to euthanize an old 3-legged cat with Feline HIV, I would not judge them.
But this is PETA.
A national organization.
Opposed to seeing-eye dogs and medical research involving rats.
The kind of group that sponsors ads showing dead dogs being delivered to little girls who wanted to get puppies from breeders instead of shelters. Because, of course, buying a dog from a breeder kills a dog in a shelter.
That dog must've been in a PETA shelter...
http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=abc_buy_one_kill_one_psa&Player=flv

Litterbox Cafeteria

We finally took Duchess's urine to the vet for testing. This was easy to do, as recently she has been regularly laying out deposits of urine at locations around the litterbox. The good news is that she is not sick. The bad news is that she is rejecting our litterbox arrangements.
So, at the vet's recommendation, we have created a litterbox cafeteria. Or, as my mother suggests, a defecateria. We moved one of the original boxes into the bathroom, left the other original in the office, and added four new boxes. Four litterboxes (including 1 which is scented!) and four different types of litter. We've got your natural pine, your magical crystals, your wheat clumping litter, and your Arm and Hammer. So far, the Arm and Hammer has generated the least response. The cats don't even sniff it. The magical crystals, which look and feel just like rock salt, have given Duchess some amusement as she knocked them out of the pan. I can't blame her - I don't think it would be pleasant to walk on those.
We let Duchess thoroughly investigate the defecateria. After a thorough round of delicate sniffing, she elected to go into the dark bathroom and use the original box. The original box which she has rejected time and time again.

Is It Wrong to Pretend?

Ah, pretending. Children play pretend and know that they are doing it. Adults play pretend too, but we seem to have forgotten we're doing it. You know, the pretend game that a broken cookie has no calories, or the pretend game that the worthless boyfriend (or girlfriend) will change, or the pretend game that the government won't catch us on tax evasion.
Fortunately for everyone, this book is about when children pretend! There are several good quotes in here. Like "We all know ... that bears do not come out to eat little children who step on the cracks in the sidewalk; so it's fun to read about them." OK, first of all, I didn't know the "bears come out and eat children who step on cracks" game. But I really don't think it sounds like "fun." Then later she points out that if you pretend that your pretendings are true, that while "Mother doesn't know it's a lie, God knows." Good point, but wow, in today's world it sounds a little creepy - a little bit like God is Big Brother and Santa Claus rolled into one. And finally, there's the potent warning: "It is also wrong ... when you pretend so much that you are unhappy when you are just yourself." I think she's actually drifting a little bit into adult pretending here. Most kids are happy being themselves, regardless of pretending. It's when we adults pretend to be something we're not for years and years that we drift into this dangerous state.

How Do I Smell?

Every time I see the title to this chapter, all I can think is: "You smell pretty bad - maybe a shower would be good."

How Do I See?

OK, there's actually a good point in this chapter that must be acknowledged.
"There are many people who have good eyes but who never see all the beautiful things God has made."
Last week, Dale and I went for a hike with my parents in the Smokies. It was a beautiful day. The path was mostly paved, but we still saw a mother bear and her 3 cubs. The waterfall we went to was a fraction of its normal size (due to drought), but it was still refreshing and lovely. And while we were on this path, listening to birds sing and watching for bears and staring at amazing mountain vistas shielded by leafed out trees, we saw 2 teenage girls in a big group. They were stomping down the mountain, staring at their feet and listening to their iPods. I could hear their music, it was so loud.
Those poor girls were wasting their good eyes and good ears. They missed all the true beauty around them. I guess I need to buy them a copy of this book...

How do I Grow?

The next chapter in my favorite book, Can You Tell Me?
This chapter is really not terribly interesting. Although it does point out that when a child isn't sleeping, that child has to eat in order to stay alive. Good point, that one. The best line is the next sentence: "And you grow by eating."
At first I questioned this. We grow by eating? Don't we grow by our bodies building up to a certain point and then developing thanks to hormones, etc? I mean, I'm not getting any taller, nor are my arms getting longer (which is good, as I can already double-wrap them around people). But then I realized that yes, sadly, I am still growing! And in fact, I am growing because I'm eating! My stomach and thighs apparently have a whole lot of growing potential left in them.
So I have to hand it to Dena Korfkor - she speaks the truth. I think I need to go mix up some chocolate chip cookies and eat the raw dough for dinner. I want my thighs and stomach to reach their full potential, after all!