Alvin visited me briefly recently, and introduced me to a couple of very funny musicians. I'm currently listening to Jonathan Coulton, who strongly reminds me of Weird Al. One lyric from a song named "Gambler's Prayer," goes, "Lord, help me take money from my friends."
The other artist is Wing. I think Wing is someone who took a cheap karaoke machine and used it to make records. It's brilliant, because after all, at least Alvin has bought her cd's... If you visit her website you'll notice that she'll sing to someone for their birthday. Man, what a great birthday present THAT would be. Did I mention that Dale's birthday is November 9th?
I highly recommend these artists. They are bringing a big smile to my vacation time!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
this eye
I read the story of the blind beggar who asks Jesus to give him sight. And Jesus asks him first, "what do you want me to do for you?" Which is a good question for me to ask myself: what do I want Jesus to do for me?
And today I needed some help with my mean old judgmental self: I've had several moments of bring really critical, and it's just no good.
And that thought reminded me of an old song-I don't know who wrote it or the name of it. But these are the lyrics:
"this eye looks with love,
this eye looks with judgement.
free me, take this sight out of this eye.
free me, take the sight out of this eye."
and that's what I need Jesus to do for me: make my judgement eye blind and give sight to my love eye.
And today I needed some help with my mean old judgmental self: I've had several moments of bring really critical, and it's just no good.
And that thought reminded me of an old song-I don't know who wrote it or the name of it. But these are the lyrics:
"this eye looks with love,
this eye looks with judgement.
free me, take this sight out of this eye.
free me, take the sight out of this eye."
and that's what I need Jesus to do for me: make my judgement eye blind and give sight to my love eye.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Slo-Mo Pope
So yesterday I settled down in my recliner for a nice relaxing hour of Oprah. It was Dr. Oz confronting a smoking family about quitting. Quality TV. Martha Beck, who is on my short list of people-I-would-love-to-meet, was also on the show. So I settle in, and then, without warning, Oprah goes off and an ABC special report comes on. Because the Pope is, at that moment, landing in Andrews AFB. Well, ok, fine. I get it. That's big news. The Pope doesn't visit every day. So that's fine.
So I'm watching. We watch Bush and his family walk towards a jet and a red carpet. The news announcer is giving a painful play by play. "Now President Bush is walking towards the red carpet. Wind is blowing his hair and the hair of his family. They are continuing to walk. There is a jet near the red carpet." Then the camera cuts to the jet and the Pope emerges. He walks down the steps. There is handshaking and more play by play narrative. Then the announcer says that he is "there" (wherever "there" is) with a theologian to discuss what the Pope might want to accomplish during his visit. I'm sorry, what? That is not news. That is speculation. I muted it at that point. I'm still watching because I'm hoping that once the Pope is done walking around, we'll get back to Oprah. I watch the Pope shake hands with a lot of men wearing black robes. I watch the President and Pope walk towards the building, with Laura and Jenna walking behind. We watch their backs all the way to the building. I think maybe now we're done, but not. Now we get to see the theologian speculating about the Pope. The Pope's itinerary is flashed on the screen. Useful. Then, I kid you not, we're back to the video of the Pope coming out of the jet. The bottom of the screen says "Earlier Today." Wow, I'm really glad I got to see this twice. That's very newsworthy. I go to the kitchen and make a loaf of bread. I return. Now they're showing the Pope and President walking together, in slow motion. I have no idea why this video warranting being run in slow motion. It's not like the Pope was making a secret gesture that could only be seen in slo-mo. But once that was done, mercifully, we went back to Oprah.
So I'm watching. We watch Bush and his family walk towards a jet and a red carpet. The news announcer is giving a painful play by play. "Now President Bush is walking towards the red carpet. Wind is blowing his hair and the hair of his family. They are continuing to walk. There is a jet near the red carpet." Then the camera cuts to the jet and the Pope emerges. He walks down the steps. There is handshaking and more play by play narrative. Then the announcer says that he is "there" (wherever "there" is) with a theologian to discuss what the Pope might want to accomplish during his visit. I'm sorry, what? That is not news. That is speculation. I muted it at that point. I'm still watching because I'm hoping that once the Pope is done walking around, we'll get back to Oprah. I watch the Pope shake hands with a lot of men wearing black robes. I watch the President and Pope walk towards the building, with Laura and Jenna walking behind. We watch their backs all the way to the building. I think maybe now we're done, but not. Now we get to see the theologian speculating about the Pope. The Pope's itinerary is flashed on the screen. Useful. Then, I kid you not, we're back to the video of the Pope coming out of the jet. The bottom of the screen says "Earlier Today." Wow, I'm really glad I got to see this twice. That's very newsworthy. I go to the kitchen and make a loaf of bread. I return. Now they're showing the Pope and President walking together, in slow motion. I have no idea why this video warranting being run in slow motion. It's not like the Pope was making a secret gesture that could only be seen in slo-mo. But once that was done, mercifully, we went back to Oprah.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Mother God
First of all, I think God transcends gender. I want to be clear on that.
Second of all, in every major division of the Bible, there is at least one reference to God as Mother, unequivocally female. So while the normal language about God is male, the idea of God as Mother is completely 100% Biblical. I wrote a 12 page paper on it if you're interested.
Finally, the post:
I think we've lost something in our perspective on God's love as we've lost the idea of Mother God. When I think of parents, the father is the one who often leaves. The father is the one who holds grudges, who won't cry at a funeral, who kicks the kid out. These are unfair stereotypes, but they exist and they come into play when we reference God as father. But a mother. We all know that even if our mom kicks us out, she'll cry at our funeral. She'll take us back. We know that if you've lost your mother's love, then you are well and truly lost. Again, stereotypes, but they're out there. If we could find an honest way to reclaim that image: to remember that God is our mother, our nursing mother, our protecting mother, wouldn't we get a fuller picture of the grace-filled and everlasting love of God?
To quote the Indigo Girls: "But they left out the sisters
praying to a father god so long I really missed her
the goddess of benevolence
you should listen to your mama if you have a lick of sense left."
And this is why I like to refer to God as She whenever appropriate. Because a lot of times, I need my divine mommy's lap.
Second of all, in every major division of the Bible, there is at least one reference to God as Mother, unequivocally female. So while the normal language about God is male, the idea of God as Mother is completely 100% Biblical. I wrote a 12 page paper on it if you're interested.
Finally, the post:
I think we've lost something in our perspective on God's love as we've lost the idea of Mother God. When I think of parents, the father is the one who often leaves. The father is the one who holds grudges, who won't cry at a funeral, who kicks the kid out. These are unfair stereotypes, but they exist and they come into play when we reference God as father. But a mother. We all know that even if our mom kicks us out, she'll cry at our funeral. She'll take us back. We know that if you've lost your mother's love, then you are well and truly lost. Again, stereotypes, but they're out there. If we could find an honest way to reclaim that image: to remember that God is our mother, our nursing mother, our protecting mother, wouldn't we get a fuller picture of the grace-filled and everlasting love of God?
To quote the Indigo Girls: "But they left out the sisters
praying to a father god so long I really missed her
the goddess of benevolence
you should listen to your mama if you have a lick of sense left."
And this is why I like to refer to God as She whenever appropriate. Because a lot of times, I need my divine mommy's lap.
writer's strike and dreams
Due to heavy academic overloading, there will be no new Lost Lost episode this week...
But in other news, last night I dreamed that I made a chicken pot pie with a ground beef crust. The crust didn't cook all the way through and I had to recook it.
But in other news, last night I dreamed that I made a chicken pot pie with a ground beef crust. The crust didn't cook all the way through and I had to recook it.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Lost Lost Episode 2
Michael's face, close up. The camera backs away to show him standing at the wheel of the run down boat the Others gave him. Walt lies on the floor behind him, asleep. The camera pans the horizon, going full circle, showing nothing but ocean. Michael keeps sailing, double-checking his heading nervously.
Walt wakes up. "Hey dad"
Michael: "Yes Walt?"
Walt: "So how did you convince the Others to let me go?"
Michael: "I made a deal."
Walt: "What kind of deal?"
Michael says nothing, but sheds one tear.
LOST
Back to Michael and Walt on the grubby boat. Another horizon shot. A good five minutes of ocean footage. Then the flashback whoosh...
Michael is cleaning the bathrooms on the freighter. Sayid enters and nods towards Michael.
Sayid: "If I don't get some food besides beans, your job will get much worse."
Michael shrugs, says nothing.
Sayid: "So tell me something, Michael. If the captain knew you were working for Ben, why did he call you Jason? And why doesn't he care?"
Michael looks at Sayid. "What makes you think I'm gonna tell you anything? You're just looking for some way to sell me out."
Sayid: "Fine, have it your way. I can't afford to buy your loyalty."
Sayid leaves. Michael, in anger, moons Sayid as the door shuts. We notice a tattoo of Paolo on Michael's left cheek.
Village compound. Sawyer is presiding over Judge Judy. Claire and Hurley are standing in front of them.
Sawyer: "So let me get this straight. Claire, you're angry at Hurley because he let Vincent poop on your front lawn."
Claire: "Multiple times."
Sawyer: "Don't interrupt. I got it. Multiple times. And Hurley, your defense is that Vincent has the run of this place and poops on everybody's front lawn."
Hurley: "That's right, Sawyer"
Sawyer: "That's Judge Judy to you, Wapner."
Hurley: "Well, that's Judge Wapner to you!"
Sawyer shrugs.
Hurley: "Dude, if we could, like, hurry this up, because my case starts any minute now."
Sawyer: "I didn't notice any clocks around here. You got a camera crew needing to make a broadcast deadline that I don't know about? Cause if so, you oughta let me have it – THIS is real entertainment!"
Hurley: "Dude, uncool."
Sawyer: "So, any final comments?"
Claire: "Well, Hurley, it's just that Vincent only goes on MY lawn, haven't you noticed? Can't you train him to go in the bushes or something?"
Hurley: "He's not my dog."
Claire: "But you're the only one who feeds him. I can't do it, I've got a baby to take care of."
Sawyer: "Ok, both of you, shut up. Good thing this isn't really on TV because y'all are totally boring. Here's my ruling, and remember, it's final. Claire, you need to tell Hurley whenever Vincent is in your lawn so he can watch him. Hurley, if Vincent goes on her lawn again, you have to clean up the poo with your bare hands."
Hurley: "Dude, that's totally unfair."
Sawyer: "Retrain the dog. Besides, you're hurrying me. Go to your own stupid case."
Hurley rushes over to the yard in front of the rec center where there's a small crowd. Sawyer and Claire follow him.
Hurley: "Sorry I'm late everybody."
People look around. Miles shrugs and says, "I didn't know we were on a schedule." Hurley rolls his eyes.
Hurley: "OK, everybody, we're all here because we have a problem with how Locke is leading us." A murmur of agreement.
Locke: "What is this, Hugo? A mutiny?"
Hurley: "No, but that's the problem. You seem to think that we're all supposed to follow you blindly."
Locke: "Yes, that's the agreement." He smiles and looks around.
Locke: "I've told everybody more than once that they're free to leave if they have a better idea of what to do."
Claire: "John, we want to stay with you. We just want to have a little more say in what's going on. I think that's reasonable."
Hurley nods. "That's what this is about, Locke. We want to be a team."
Locke looks around. "Is that it? This isn't about Ben at all then?"
Hurley: "Well, it's also about Ben."
Sawyer walks up. "It's about Ben, but Ben is just the beginning and we all know it."
People look at Sawyer, surprised.
Miles: "Yeah, look at this guy." He points at Ben. "He cold bloodedly killed everybody he grew up with, teachers, friends, his own dad. What are you doing letting him walk around?"
Locke's eyebrows shoot up. "Who let Miles out?"
Sawyer: "I did. I figured maybe you needed a little competition in the dictator department."
Locke: "James, that wasn't a good idea."
Hurley: "Well, we don't think letting Ben out was a good idea."
Everyone agrees. Locke shrugs. "Ok then." He hands the keys to Sawyer. "Lock Ben back up. Do me a favor, do everyone a favor, and lock Miles up too. You wanna be in charge? You got three days." He starts to walk away.
Hurley: "John, where are you going?"
Locke: "I think you know, Hugo."
Back on the boat, the crew has started a Mahjongg tournament. The doctor comes to get Sayid and Desmond.
Doctor: "Come out on deck. We're all playing Mahjongg."
Desmond: "What? Why?"
Doctor: "Just come out."
Once Desmond and Sayid reach the deck, they are told that the crew has decided not to move people between the island and the boat until they have a winner. Sayid and Michael try to refuse to play, but are forced at gunpoint to comply.
Whooosh
Michael and Walt sit on the deck of the old boat, playing with an old set of Mahjongg.
Walt: "This would be really boring if we had anything else to do."
Michael: "Yeah, well, we don't."
Five more minutes of ocean horizon footage.
Locke arrives at Jacob's cabin. He hears some noises coming from behind. Stealthily, he approaches. Through the brush, he see Bernard and Richard tied up to trees. He shakes his head. Just then the Sand People appear. Locke's eyes widen. "Star Wars?" he whispers to himself.
The Mahjongg tournament is in full swing. Michael is not playing. He looks out over the horizon. Whooosh.
Michael and Walt are on the boat still. Walt is asleep. Suddenly, Michael sees something strange on the horizon, like a signal. Michael, excited, pulls out his flare gun and prepares to fire. Then he looks again. The boat is starting to come into view. It is the Kahana. It looks like the whole crew is on the deck for some reason.
LOST
Walt wakes up. "Hey dad"
Michael: "Yes Walt?"
Walt: "So how did you convince the Others to let me go?"
Michael: "I made a deal."
Walt: "What kind of deal?"
Michael says nothing, but sheds one tear.
LOST
Back to Michael and Walt on the grubby boat. Another horizon shot. A good five minutes of ocean footage. Then the flashback whoosh...
Michael is cleaning the bathrooms on the freighter. Sayid enters and nods towards Michael.
Sayid: "If I don't get some food besides beans, your job will get much worse."
Michael shrugs, says nothing.
Sayid: "So tell me something, Michael. If the captain knew you were working for Ben, why did he call you Jason? And why doesn't he care?"
Michael looks at Sayid. "What makes you think I'm gonna tell you anything? You're just looking for some way to sell me out."
Sayid: "Fine, have it your way. I can't afford to buy your loyalty."
Sayid leaves. Michael, in anger, moons Sayid as the door shuts. We notice a tattoo of Paolo on Michael's left cheek.
Village compound. Sawyer is presiding over Judge Judy. Claire and Hurley are standing in front of them.
Sawyer: "So let me get this straight. Claire, you're angry at Hurley because he let Vincent poop on your front lawn."
Claire: "Multiple times."
Sawyer: "Don't interrupt. I got it. Multiple times. And Hurley, your defense is that Vincent has the run of this place and poops on everybody's front lawn."
Hurley: "That's right, Sawyer"
Sawyer: "That's Judge Judy to you, Wapner."
Hurley: "Well, that's Judge Wapner to you!"
Sawyer shrugs.
Hurley: "Dude, if we could, like, hurry this up, because my case starts any minute now."
Sawyer: "I didn't notice any clocks around here. You got a camera crew needing to make a broadcast deadline that I don't know about? Cause if so, you oughta let me have it – THIS is real entertainment!"
Hurley: "Dude, uncool."
Sawyer: "So, any final comments?"
Claire: "Well, Hurley, it's just that Vincent only goes on MY lawn, haven't you noticed? Can't you train him to go in the bushes or something?"
Hurley: "He's not my dog."
Claire: "But you're the only one who feeds him. I can't do it, I've got a baby to take care of."
Sawyer: "Ok, both of you, shut up. Good thing this isn't really on TV because y'all are totally boring. Here's my ruling, and remember, it's final. Claire, you need to tell Hurley whenever Vincent is in your lawn so he can watch him. Hurley, if Vincent goes on her lawn again, you have to clean up the poo with your bare hands."
Hurley: "Dude, that's totally unfair."
Sawyer: "Retrain the dog. Besides, you're hurrying me. Go to your own stupid case."
Hurley rushes over to the yard in front of the rec center where there's a small crowd. Sawyer and Claire follow him.
Hurley: "Sorry I'm late everybody."
People look around. Miles shrugs and says, "I didn't know we were on a schedule." Hurley rolls his eyes.
Hurley: "OK, everybody, we're all here because we have a problem with how Locke is leading us." A murmur of agreement.
Locke: "What is this, Hugo? A mutiny?"
Hurley: "No, but that's the problem. You seem to think that we're all supposed to follow you blindly."
Locke: "Yes, that's the agreement." He smiles and looks around.
Locke: "I've told everybody more than once that they're free to leave if they have a better idea of what to do."
Claire: "John, we want to stay with you. We just want to have a little more say in what's going on. I think that's reasonable."
Hurley nods. "That's what this is about, Locke. We want to be a team."
Locke looks around. "Is that it? This isn't about Ben at all then?"
Hurley: "Well, it's also about Ben."
Sawyer walks up. "It's about Ben, but Ben is just the beginning and we all know it."
People look at Sawyer, surprised.
Miles: "Yeah, look at this guy." He points at Ben. "He cold bloodedly killed everybody he grew up with, teachers, friends, his own dad. What are you doing letting him walk around?"
Locke's eyebrows shoot up. "Who let Miles out?"
Sawyer: "I did. I figured maybe you needed a little competition in the dictator department."
Locke: "James, that wasn't a good idea."
Hurley: "Well, we don't think letting Ben out was a good idea."
Everyone agrees. Locke shrugs. "Ok then." He hands the keys to Sawyer. "Lock Ben back up. Do me a favor, do everyone a favor, and lock Miles up too. You wanna be in charge? You got three days." He starts to walk away.
Hurley: "John, where are you going?"
Locke: "I think you know, Hugo."
Back on the boat, the crew has started a Mahjongg tournament. The doctor comes to get Sayid and Desmond.
Doctor: "Come out on deck. We're all playing Mahjongg."
Desmond: "What? Why?"
Doctor: "Just come out."
Once Desmond and Sayid reach the deck, they are told that the crew has decided not to move people between the island and the boat until they have a winner. Sayid and Michael try to refuse to play, but are forced at gunpoint to comply.
Whooosh
Michael and Walt sit on the deck of the old boat, playing with an old set of Mahjongg.
Walt: "This would be really boring if we had anything else to do."
Michael: "Yeah, well, we don't."
Five more minutes of ocean horizon footage.
Locke arrives at Jacob's cabin. He hears some noises coming from behind. Stealthily, he approaches. Through the brush, he see Bernard and Richard tied up to trees. He shakes his head. Just then the Sand People appear. Locke's eyes widen. "Star Wars?" he whispers to himself.
The Mahjongg tournament is in full swing. Michael is not playing. He looks out over the horizon. Whooosh.
Michael and Walt are on the boat still. Walt is asleep. Suddenly, Michael sees something strange on the horizon, like a signal. Michael, excited, pulls out his flare gun and prepares to fire. Then he looks again. The boat is starting to come into view. It is the Kahana. It looks like the whole crew is on the deck for some reason.
LOST
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Breaking the Rules to Keep the Rules
At one point, Jesus and his buddies go through a grainfield and pick themselves a little lunch. The Pharisees, predictably, were outraged. They were outraged because Jesus & company did this on a Sabbath; their actions were fine six days of the week, but not ok on the Sabbath. Now, I'm not sure what impoverished hungry people were supposed to do on the Sabbath if they weren't allowed to glean then, but that's another issue. Jesus, predictably, had a good answer for the Pharisees' criticism, pointing out that the Sabbath was made to benefit people and that He himself ruled the Sabbath.
I typically nod my head at this point, thinking about how legalistic the poor Pharisees were and how wise Jesus was and I move on. But the other day, I sat and thought about it. It almost seems like Jesus is saying that sometimes it's ok to break lesser rules in order to follow greater rules. But I don't think that's quite the point. And then I thought about how we treat cancer. Normally, if a doctor decided to inject me with radioactive chemicals capable of destroying my kidneys within hours, and continued this treatment until all my hair fell out and I lost tons of weight because I couldn't keep any food down, I would condemn the doctor and ask him if he'd ever heard of the Hippocratic oath. But if I had cancer and the treatment killed the cancer, I would be eternally grateful to the doctor. In normal situations, doctors try to "do no harm." But at times, in order to preserve life they must take action which seems to destroy it.
This is why we can't let ourselves be tricked into following a set of rules and think it's a genuine spiritual life. Rules conflict. Rules don't apply. Rules can keep us from the greater good. Jesus conveyed that message over and over. And I'm not trying to say we just throw all codes of conduct out the window here. Jesus and company were hungry - they needed food more than rest. When you have cancer, you're in an extreme situation. That's why it's about relationship, not rules.
I typically nod my head at this point, thinking about how legalistic the poor Pharisees were and how wise Jesus was and I move on. But the other day, I sat and thought about it. It almost seems like Jesus is saying that sometimes it's ok to break lesser rules in order to follow greater rules. But I don't think that's quite the point. And then I thought about how we treat cancer. Normally, if a doctor decided to inject me with radioactive chemicals capable of destroying my kidneys within hours, and continued this treatment until all my hair fell out and I lost tons of weight because I couldn't keep any food down, I would condemn the doctor and ask him if he'd ever heard of the Hippocratic oath. But if I had cancer and the treatment killed the cancer, I would be eternally grateful to the doctor. In normal situations, doctors try to "do no harm." But at times, in order to preserve life they must take action which seems to destroy it.
This is why we can't let ourselves be tricked into following a set of rules and think it's a genuine spiritual life. Rules conflict. Rules don't apply. Rules can keep us from the greater good. Jesus conveyed that message over and over. And I'm not trying to say we just throw all codes of conduct out the window here. Jesus and company were hungry - they needed food more than rest. When you have cancer, you're in an extreme situation. That's why it's about relationship, not rules.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
repentance
How many times have I failed you?
How many times today?
In my broken rage
In my silent fear
In the heart that is cold and hard and dead.
I give the cold shoulder
I turn a blind eye
I withhold my hands, my feet, my voice, my passion.
It's no use swearing that I'll change.
That things will be different now.
That I'll let myself care and act and love.
Because I'll fail again.
And I'll keep failing, over and over.
And my repeated failures, as they pile up
Will only be matched by one thing:
Repeated chances.
Because sometimes,
Through You
I succeed.
How many times today?
In my broken rage
In my silent fear
In the heart that is cold and hard and dead.
I give the cold shoulder
I turn a blind eye
I withhold my hands, my feet, my voice, my passion.
It's no use swearing that I'll change.
That things will be different now.
That I'll let myself care and act and love.
Because I'll fail again.
And I'll keep failing, over and over.
And my repeated failures, as they pile up
Will only be matched by one thing:
Repeated chances.
Because sometimes,
Through You
I succeed.
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