Perelandra

I recently read Perelandra by C.S. Lewis. It's basically a retelling of the Eve Temptation story, set on the Planet Venus. The tempter is not a snake: he is an evil man almost completely possessed by Satan. Another human man has been sent to Venus in order to protect Eve and help her resist temptation. The Venus Adam is MIA throughout most of the book.
Now, the good human eventually comes to the conclusion that he cannot out-argue the satan-man. So he sets out to kill him instead, physically. They engage in strenuous physical combat and the good man wins. Lewis was definitely not a pacifist, so this solution is entirely consistent with his personal beliefs.
However, I am a pacifist, in a certain context. I don't believe physical violence is God's will for conflict resolution, even in a broken and fallen world. So I find the physical combat troubling. Especially because there is something I consider a significant factor that the good man fails to use.
Whenever the two men are away from the Venus Eve, the satan-man kills and tortures animals. Yet the good man never points this out to the Venus Eve. He never says, hey, come look at what this supposedly nice man is doing to your beloved animals. It seems to me that that would've been a very effective argument. And a peaceable one. The Venus Eve had the power to send both men away.
So why didn't Lewis write the book that way? Who knows. Perhaps he wanted to have a physical combat. Perhaps he considered it some kind of bad form to tell on the evil satan-man. Still, I think it's an intriguing question.

Book Review of A Prayer to Our Father

This is a book written by a Jew and a Christian together. They explored the Hebrew text of the Lord's Prayer and delved into its meanings, visiting several sacred sites in Israel.
First, the most interesting item was the existence of a text known as the Hebrew Gospel of Matthew. I had never heard of such a thing, and I will be interested to investigate it more. This is the source of the Hebrew text of the Lord's Prayer.
The other idea which struck me was the translation of the phrase usually translated as "lead me not into temptation." The authors decided that the best Hebrew translation is actually "let me not fall into the hands of a test." This is a phrase I have always struggled with, and their translation fits better with my theology and my knowledge of God.

And on a positive note...

“The work…is not so much to make ourselves better as to be honest about who we are right now. When we are candid with ourselves and with God, then we can release to Him the issues that we know need healing, and thus be purified by His spirit. Our best intentions to “act better” don’t mean all that much; our willingness to have Him make us better means everything.” Marianne Williamson, Everyday Grace (page 234).

A friend sent me this quote, quite a while ago. It reminds me of Yoda's advice to "do or do not, there is no try." This is the fine line of grace that Christ-followers walk: we do not try to "do better" in our own strength - we are not trying to be good people, or to be good enough. Instead, we are laying down in total honesty and submission, opening up our failures to God and allowing the Holy Spirit to do good through us, despite our brokenness.
We pray, we fast, we tithe, not to be good people, but to continue to be aware of our brokenness and be more intimate with God, to give the Holy Spirit more and more openings to do miracles through us.

Lessons Learned, or, There's Nothing Wrong With Our Health Care

So I cut off the tip of my finger at 4:45 pm on Monday, August 3rd. I was in intense pain and my entire focus was on keeping pressure on my finger and staying conscious. My kind and generous neighbor drove me to the closest open Urgent Care center, which gave me good care and a tetanus shot. I then filed the claim with my insurance.
Because the Urgent Care center was out of network, the full cost of my finger care is shouldered by me - going towards my deductible. My insurance did pay for my tetanus shot.
So today I called my insurance to find out what I should do in the future if I should sever part of my body in order to ensure I get the full benefit of my plan. I discovered that there are 2 local Urgent Care centers that do accept my plan. One of them closes at 5:00 pm, the other is open until 8:00 pm. Otherwise, I should go to the ER, where I will pay $50 and then the plan covers the cost.

So here's my lessons learned: Find out where to go for an emergency BEFORE you have the emergency. Otherwise you may get stuck paying full price for getting quick and convenient medical care.
Also, only get injured before 8:00 pm. Otherwise you'll have to spend your evening in the ER surrounded by people who are horrendously sick and probably carrying all sorts of nasty diseases. Yeah, I'm biased - the last time I was in a hospital (to visit a friend), I caught a virus that made me sick for a month!

7 quick takes

1. Today I get to finally move on to band-aids for my finger!
2. I also need to work out, yuck.
3. I'm close to finishing a book which I got free in return for a promised review - look for the review next week!
4. I did not win the latest writing contest I entered.
5. But that's ok.
6. I still feel like a blind woman fumbling to find a path for my writing.
7. But I think a lot of writers feel that way. At least until they are famous published writers, maybe.

Thoughts on Writing

It takes a lot of work and emotional energy. Also, I feel like a phony whenever I say I'm a writer. Sure, I've been published a couple of times in a local online magazine. But Dale's been published in a regional paper magazine and he doesn't call himself a writer. I hear myself saying it and I feel like one of those people who believes that, given enough time, they could write the Great American Novel. You know? Everyone has a book idea.
Someone I've read recently complained about this. Probably Anne Lamott. She talks about how writing doesn't seem like a real profession, about how all people think they are capable of being good writers. And I don't want to be one of *those* people.
Shrug. The fact remains, I am a pastor and a writer. I probably won't write the Great American Novel. But I hope I can bring light into some small part of the world through my words.

7 quick takes

1. I should really get started cooking dinner.
2. I want to go shopping tonight, but I think Dale will want to hang out together, and I don't think shopping counts in his book...
3. I have a lot of bread to bake this weekend!
4. I also get a haircut!
5. In sad news, Dale's compressor is out on his car, so we're looking at a thousand dollar repair. Thank you, Emergency Fund!
6. I'm starting to type (a little bit) with my bandaged index finger.
7. I had no idea i would be wearing this bandage for so long!

The kindness of others

I'm feeling quite warm and fuzzy about others today.
As most of you know, last night I cut a bit of my finger tip off while chopping basil for dinner. I called Dale immediately, but he was at least 20 minutes away from home and I knew I couldn't wait for him - the pain was so bad I was about to pass out. So I called one of my neighbors who immediately rushed over and took me to an urgent care unit. As a side note - it's always good to be friends with neighbors!
Then, yesterday I noticed that I couldn't find my debit card anywhere. So this morning I called the bank to get a new one. They told me that someone found my card in a parking lot and turned it in, and the bank is currently mailing it to me! I love honest people! It feels so good to be on the receiving end of a stranger's honesty and kindness. :)

Oh, for those who are interested in the gross, I'm considering posting a photo of the severed fingertip. Votes yes or no, please. :)

Awesome weekend!

Friday night I got to see Tori Amos in concert. It was fantastic. A really great show! My only regret is that I forgot to bring Dale's binoculars. :( Still, it was a fabulously good time.
Then on Saturday and Sunday, I baked bread. Lots of bread. I sold about $50 worth, which is cool. $50 closer to our pilgrimages! Dale and I are both planning to go to monasteries - he to one in GA, me to one in NM. I'm looking forward to this. Also, I enjoy baking bread.
Then last night I sat down to watch ABC's premiere of Defying Gravity, a space show. It was pretty good. I will probably watch it for a couple more weeks.
I'm almost done with the Harry Potter series too. I think I've figured out where they'll be splitting the 7th book for the 2 movies. It'll be right after Harry finds out about the Deathly Hallows. That's my theory, at least.
My next book series will be another re-read - the Dune series. I'm looking forward to that.