Let's Hear it for CVS!

So I went to CVS today to get some prescriptions filled (I have that awful throat virus and currently have no voice), and I decided to pick up a couple of other items. I grabbed some cough drops, Christmas ribbon, and a cool headband for myself (I'm sick, I should get a little pampering!). I sat down to wait for my prescriptions and then thought to check where everything was made. Preparing myself for disappointment, I was instead pleasantly surprised! Cough drops were made in Canada, woohoo. Cool headband was made in Taiwan, ooooh! And best of all, my ribbon was made in the USA! Imagine that! Somewhere in the US, we are still making actual products!

Our Boring Life

Yicktole, Ticktole, Ticktole, Ticktoli, Ecktole, Yicktolu, TickTOLnah, Ticktolu, TickTOLnah, Nicktole.
No, it's not a Pig Latin version of the reindeer names, it's Hebrew. Qal Imperfect Conjugation, to be precise. That's the strong verb paradigm. The weak verb paradigm goes something like this:
Yivneh, Tivneh, Tivneh, Tivni, Evneh, Yivnoo, TivNEHnah, Tivnoo, TivNEHnah, Nivneh.
OR
Yimtzah, Timtzah, Timtzah, Timtza-ee, Ehmtzah, Yimtza-oo, TimTZEHnah, Timtza-oo, TimTZEHnah, Nimtzah
OR
Yayshave, Tayshave, Tayshave, Tayshuhvee, A-shave, Yayshuhvoo, TaySHAVnah, Tayshuhvoo, TaySHAVnah, Nayshave
Dale's life is equally exciting, but his is all numbers, not Hebrew.
However, here, at last, is an interesting fact. The spellchecker for this post is going crazy, underlining almost ALL my Hebrew phonetic words. However, one of the Hebrew words I've written here is NOT underlined because apparently, it's a real word. Can you guess which word it is?

Shrimp Boats and Chicken Sandwiches

So I ate lunch at this hole-in-the-wall in Durham called "The Shrimpboat". Ironically, it's not the seafood that's all the rage, but the chicken sandwich, which was touted to me as "the best chicken sandwich in town". Durham isn't that big, so the claim is probably easily defended, but it probably was the best chicken sandwich I've ever had in Durham. However, it wasn't really all that...it was so hyped, that it was rather disappointing. Afterall, it is just a chicken sandwich. But I did write a blog post about it.

If you're ever in a seedy part of Durham and see The Shrimpboat restaurant and you're craving a chicken sandwich, you've found your oasis.

Shocking Discoveries

So tonight I faced my first big sacrifice with the whole Made in China thing. I've been looking for this game from my childhood - a game I loved greatly - called Mastermind. It was a great puzzle game - perfect for 2 people. And tonight, I FINALLY found that game again. Mastermind! The very game I'd been looking for for years! And of course, it was made in China. Oh well.
Then, Dale and I took a stroll through the Williams Sonoma. Now, when we were in Target the other day, we found a KitchenAid hand mixer for about $40. Made in China, of course. At the Williams Sonoma, we found another hand mixer, Kitchen Aid, for $90. I figured that perhaps the bigger price was due to being made in America - but I was wrong! It was also made in China. Boy, Williams Sonoma sure knows how to charge a lot of money for Chinese products!

Made in Where?

Dale and I have been giving serious consideration to where our stuff is made recently. It seems to all have been made in China. The more we think about it, the more distressing this is. We have talked about trying to not buy anything made in China. This should lend itself well to living on a budget and living a simple life. For example, I would like a new hand held mixer. I already own a handheld mixer, but it doesn't stand up on its own. This is a pain in the butt. So I considered asking for a new one for Christmas. Of course, they're all made in China. All of them. Even the Kitchen Aid one. And that's when it hit me. Do I want to support a regime which routinely denies basic human rights to its citizens and props up the government in Burma, allowing them to kill hundreds of innocent monks, just so I can conveniently stand my mixer on the countertop when I'm not using it? No.
I know that avoiding products made in China will not make me a better person. I still drive a Japanese car that consumes foreign oil. My gas money supports today's terrorists and my tax money is training tomorrow's terrorists, and in short, the impact of my life is far greater than I can comprehend or control. But this is one thing I CAN do.

Fertile No More

Today was the day that Duchess said goodbye to her womanly parts (as Dale puts it). She has gained a little more weight (5.5 pounds) and we got her in just in time: the vet said she was about to go into heat! That would've been confusing for my neutered boys. She also had a loose tooth pulled - apparently kittens have baby teeth, who knew?
So I picked her up and the vet told me to keep her isolated and stop her from jumping on things. I thought, have you MET my kitten? First of all, whenever we isolate her, she goes to the bathroom. Outside the litter box. In fact, right NEXT to the litter box, just so you know that she's doing it on purpose. So I currently have her isolated from the other kitties in my office with me. That will work until tomorrow morning when I leave the house. :) Now, as to the jumping, that's just crazy. The first thing she did when she got home was to run around the house and start jumping on things. The 1 inch incision doesn't seem to bother her one bit. I guess we could try and keep her from jumping on the bookshelf, but I have to say the odds aren't good.
But none of that really matters - she's home and healthy and jumping around!

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

Today our church announced the December Movie. This is one of the perks of meeting in a movie theater (a perk Dale and I, and I'm sure others, will sorely miss when we move into our new building). We get to watch 2 free movies per year! So our movie this year will be Enchanted. This is a good thing, because Dale and I were unable (due to budget constraints) to go see Enchanted with David and Sallie over Thanksgiving. And now we get to watch it for free! Having been duly warned by them, we plan to watch carefully for all the Disney references hidden throughout.

Unilever

The most bizarre thing happened to us as we were traveling home from a U2Charist the other night. If you don't know what a U2Charist is, you can Google it. We were stopped at a traffic light behind a minivan, and suddenly, a woman got out of the driver's seat and started walking towards our car very purposefully. She was a typical suburban Baby Boomer. One of our passengers joked, "she doesn't have a gun, does she?" We laughed, but she was definitely holding something behind her back, or so it appeared. When she got close enough to see us, she suddenly said, "Oh sorry," and turned back around, revealing that there was nothing behind her back, not even an arm. As she got back in her van and the light cycled from red to green to yellow to red again, we processed whether we had, in fact, just seen a one armed lady. As the light turned red, she drove off, leaving us behind. She didn't wave goodbye.

Creamy soups

I have heard that married people, after a few years of marriage, stop having meaningful conversations. I'm pleased to discover, after 3 years of marriage, that this is not true. Just last night, Dale and I had a deeply meaningful conversation about soup. We were discussing cooking with Campbell's Cream of ______ soups. I was talking about eating the soups, and Dale said he didn't think that people actually eat Cream of _____ soup. I said I didn't think that Campbell soup made soups just for cooking with. But then Dale pointed out that if Campbell's intended us to eat it, they would've called it Creamy Mushroom/Celery/Chicken soup, not Cream OF _____ soup. I had to concede his point.
This is the point at which we would normally consult the iPhone, but since we were already in bed, that was put off for later.

The topic that doesn't go away...

I found this great poem on a blog today and had to share it.
"Did the woman say,
When she held him for the first time in the dark of a stable,
After the pain and the bleeding and the crying,
'This is my body, this is my blood'?

Did the woman say,
When she held him for the last time in the dark rain on a hilltop,
After the pain and the bleeding and the dying,
'This is my body, this is my blood'?

Well that she said it to him then,
For dry old men,
Brocaded robes belying barrenness,
Ordain that she not say it for him now."

by Frances Croake Frank

While I am well settled in my own theology on this issue, I am still working out how I feel about those people and churches who disagree with me. On one hand, I know that I want to work somewhere where this is not an issue: I want to be able to go to work each day without facing major opposition based on my gender, at least not from within my community. On the other hand, churches which would reject me immediately based on my genitals are part of God's kingdom and I will need to work with them at times. Do I just smile and agree to disagree? Do I fight the fight? Do I refuse to address the question?

Duchess, Wild Cat or Lap Kitty?

Duchess had her last set of shots this week. She weighed in at a whopping 4.7 pounds! It appears that in addition to the world's fattest cat, Dale and I now have the world's smallest cat. (Which we're ok with. She's so cute!) Anyway, the vet asked if her personality was as sweet as she is beautiful and I had to laugh. Images of Duchess looking me in the eye and jumping up on the counter flashed through my mind. I told the vet she was incredibly aggressive about food, and the vet treated me to her theory about cats. She asked if Duchess were a stray, which she wasn't, but apparently her mother was. The vet believes that the closer a cat is to stray life, the more aggressive its survival skills are. And it's true that Duchess is quite the little huntress. Maybe we should've named her Diana... But back to the point. Which is that the longer a cat's line has been domesticated (think of Persians here), the less their survival hunting and food aggression skills are. Which I guess means that poor old fat Pip is also very close to being a stray. Hmm, maybe I'll just go feed Pip a little more...

Halloween for Old Childless People

Now, let me say up front, "old childless people" refers to Dale and I. We are not qualitatively old, but in comparison to many of our friends, we are old. And I'm ok with that.
So anyway, what do "old childless people" do on Halloween? Besides answer our door and throw candy at small children, of course.
We spend our evening installing track lighting in the living room, of course! I'm using an adorable photo of Duchess trying to be just like her daddy.

And just a couple of Halloween thoughts:
1) In a neighborhood with a large number of children, if the parents are out with the kids, who's at home manning the door? Is it a matter of one parent staying home and the other going out? Do you flip for the right to go out? Which is more fun, staying in or going out?
2) Why are kids not saying Trick or Treat any more? We had maybe 10 kids, and I think I heard 1 Trick or Treat. Now, I did hear a lot of thank-yous, so it's not that the kids aren't polite. Are they shy? Am I just inherently so scary that kids are frightened into muteness and forget to say it? I didn't think I was that scary...

Hebrew Fun

We're learning about the Vav Consecutive this week in class. Here's what it does. When it's attached to a Perfect verb (completed action), the verb is translated as an Imperfect verb. When it's attached to an Imperfect verb (incomplete action), the verb is translated as a Perfect verb. Oh, and the Vav Consecutive is spelled differently for each type of verb. For Imperfect verbs, it has a distinct spelling. For Perfect verbs, it is spelled exactly the same way the Hebrew word "and" is spelled.
I'm not making this stuff up. How could I?

Hebrew

I am not good at languages. I look at people blithely talking in other languages, I hear a friend casually mention taking a third language, and I think, wow, that is something I just can't do. I'm ok with that. The problem is, I still have 3/4's of my year of Hebrew to go. I spent most of this weekend studying for a quiz, just a quiz, today. Literally spent hours on it. The last time I spent hours studying for anything it was, well, Hebrew. Pre-Hebrew, the last time I spent hours studying for something was probably, oh, maybe in undergrad? I literally can't remember. This either points to bad study habits, or a decided lack of talent in languages. I'm voting for the latter.
I think that when this class is over, I will have gained a lot of compassion for people learning English. See, I hear people talk about how English is one of the most difficult languages to learn. I say, well, Hebrew is probably more difficult, but I'll go ahead and say they're equally hard. So to all those out there struggling with English, I offer all my compassion and sympathy! Keep it up! When you're done, you will be able to communicate with millions of people around the world! When I finish studying Hebrew, I'll be able to, well, to write letters to any ancient Israelite who appears in the 21st century via a time machine...

politically correct or stupid?

Plural family vs. polygamy. This is the choice here. I just watched Oprah's show on polygamy (you note my choice) and she used the term plural family, informing us that that is the politically correct term. Now see, I don't mind political correctness that is also semantically correct. Like "African-American" vs. "black." Whatever you think of that, you have to admit that "African-American" is a correct definition. Those people are from Africa, originally. And frankly, none of them are even close to having black skin: they have brown skin. So "black" isn't even accurate as a description.
But polygamy is a correct term. It means a marriage with more than 2 people. It covers a woman with more than 1 husband (polyandry) and a man with more than 1 wife (polygyny). Plural family is just a vague phrase that could mean anything. When Dale and I visit my parents at Thanksgiving, will their house temporarily hold a "plural family?"
Can we just call it what it is and let that be that?
See, I'm thinking that prettier phrases are being created in preparation for a push to legalize, or at least decriminalize, polygamy. I mean, heck, that's what every single guest, including the woman who "escaped" (her word, not mine) her polygamous marriage, wanted: the decriminalization of polygamy. And one of the wives made the exact point that Dale and I have been talking about: with all the alternative lifestyles in America, why not this one?
So, aside from the Christian view that marriage is a sacrament between a man and a woman, what's wrong with non-abusive, non-pedophiliac, polygamy? Is there something inherently abusive about any form of polygamy? Is it possible for a feminist to want to be someone's third wife?

Bayless Choice for President

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,304096,00.html
This just in: Chuck Norris supports Mike Huckabee for President. And if he's good enough for Chuck Norris, he's good enough for Dale and I!

iPhone commercial

So I've been enjoying the new iPhone commercials where someone stands in front of a black backdrop and talk about how they use their iPhone. Dale and I decided how my commercial would go:
"Hi, I'm Elaine, a full time divinity student with an iPhone. My husband and I use to have light hearted disagreements about trivial issues, and we also use to spend time idly wondering about random things like how milk becomes cheese. Now that I have my iPhone, we can resolve our disagreements, as well as satisfy our random curiosity, at the touch of a button. It's great to drive past a sign for the Hiddenite Center Museum and be able to find out exactly what it is! It's also very vindicating to find out that I'm right, yet again, when we dispute the rotation time of the moon. I guess I could be wrong sometimes, but signals can be so unreliable, especially while driving..."

Kit-Kat III

In the original colors!

Giving it up

So I had a long conversation with a good friend and I'm giving up the idea that all my appointments will have conflicts and people only call me when I'm busy.
Because here's the thing: I'm busy, but I also create my life. So I'm going to allow myself some freedom, by not scheduling every free minute (and I'm not even going to "schedule" me time by setting up appointments with myself - I'm just going to leave space in my calendar). And I'm going to accept the abundance of my life. The abundance of my life means that when I commit to one great activity, there will probably be another great activity I must say no to. And that's ok. The abundance of my life means that when I start talking with 1 friend, 1 or 2 others may call, and that's ok. That's why God created voicemail. :)
So bring on the cosmic conflicts! I'm embracing the freedom and abundance that God is providing!

The Law of Scheduling

I'm actually looking for a snappier name for this. It's the general principle that people are only available for meetings when I'm already booked and people only call when I can't talk. Seriously.
Drastic action is lurking in the sidewings of my mind. Action like only taking 1 meeting a week. Action like becoming a hermit. Drastic measures.

Kit Kat Clock II

Kit-Kat Clock

Stay tuned for the rest of the Bayless Kit Kat Clocks...

why?

Why is there so much fear and so much need for control among Christians? I think it's because we plain just don't understand God's love. So we talk about "true" vs. "false" conversions, we attack any branch of the church that has a different teaching, we question other people's salvation. What I especially notice are those folks who seem to think that if you haven't reduced someone to a quivering mass of repentant weeping - if you haven't scared the person to death with talk of hell - then you haven't really shared the Gospel. Excuse me?
Sure, Jesus gave hellfire and damnation speeches. To the religious leaders. Not to the prostitutes.
I think we've got 2 problems here. People don't get God's love, and people, including pastors, don't read the entire Bible. In my theology class last summer, my professor asked how many of us students (all either involved in ministry or planning to be involved in ministry) had read the entire Bible. Less than half the class raised their hands.
When we skip reading the entire Bible, we get these weird skewed images of God, like the image of God as a genocidal terrorist. Or the image of God as a man. We miss out on the persistent, constant message of God's love, a message which runs like an undercurrent, and sometimes like a tsunami, through every story, every book, every verse of the Bible.
Maybe if we spent more time with God and with God's word, we would learn about God's love. Then we would share that. Right now, I think a lot of people are just sharing their own personal fears about God and calling it Truth.

Like and Unlike

So I've noticed that Duchess, although very different from her older brothers, is also very similar to them.
Duchess, like Pipsqueak, eats every meal as if she hadn't eaten in 3 days.
Duchess, unlike Pipsqueak, is not ornery.
Duchess, like Shadow, is willing and able to verbally express her displeasure or impatience.
Duchess, unlike Shadow, will remain in your lap even when you sneeze, cough, or laugh loudly.
Duchess, like Pipsqueak, is extremely interested in human food.
Duchess, unlike Pipsqueak, can be restrained while we are eating human food. (When Pip was her size I had to shut him in the bathroom when I ate: he would literally drag food off my plate).
Duchess, like Shadow, tells you exactly what part of her head to scratch.
Duchess, unlike Shadow, likes to meet new people.

Happy Anniversary and Where Does That Go?

Today Dale and I celebrate 3 years of marriage. Yay! I think we'll celebrate by going out to dinner and then coming home and doing homework. Seriously. Students sure know how to have a rocking good time...

In other news, Duchess saw the vet today. She's a whopping 2.9 pounds now and healthy. She did very well, although she was quite displeased with the temperature taking and the fecal sampling. Fortunately all signs are healthy and she curled up in my lap and purred when we got home, so I think all was forgiven. She's back to the vet in a month for final shots, including rabies, and then we'll be spaying her around Thanksgiving time. What fun for her! Shadow seems pretty ok with her now, although he does hiss every time she pounces on his tail. Who can blame him? Pip is gaining weight again. I suspect he is eating Shadow's food which is on the high bookshelf. This would be the same food he flat out refused to eat for days last week. Grrr. In short, all is normal in Catland.

Interview with Cats

Pipsqueak, last week you stopped eating. Was that a hunger strike to protest the new kitten? Or was it just time for a change in food?
"It was a little of both. I felt it was time for a change in my nutritional conveyance, and I also strongly objected to the kitten. It was just the right action at the right time."
Shadow, when you first met Duchess you were terrified of her. Now you stand your ground. When did you realize that Duchess was NOT a bloodthirsty killer kitten?
"I think it was when I observed her chasing her own tail repeatedly."
Duchess, what's your favorite part of life at the Bayless home?
"I really love chasing my tail, but my favorite part of life has to be my sneak attacks on the other cats. I think they really like it too."
Pipsqueak, do you and Duchess play together?
"Not really, but sometimes she comes out of nowhere and jumps on me. That's really annoying. And she's always trying to eat my food."
Shadow, do you feel you and Duchess are developing a healthy relationship?
"Define healthy."

Plucking out an Eye

So I was reading in Matthew today the passage when Jesus says that if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. And of course my first thought was the typical thought of: "well, Jesus was just exaggerating for effect. Jesus didn't really want anyone to pluck out their eye." Which is accurate. But then I had a second thought: why did Jesus use such shocking graphic language? What was the point? I thought of a couple of things. First: Jesus wanted to point out that removing the root cause of sin from our lives requires radical and extreme measures. Second: Jesus wanted us to understand that it would be painful. Removing the root cause of sin from our lives can often seem like self-mutilation. Ouch!

Precious car-stealing kitten

Well, I came home the other evening to see this sweet sight: little Duchess sitting on her daddy's lap while he played a video game. (The game is Grand Theft Auto). Dale reports that Duchess was very interested in the car-jacking.

Duchess

Dale and I took the plunge and added to our family this week. Her name is Duchess, and she's a sweet black tabby, provided by Katie! (Katie has 3 more lovely kittens, for anyone interested!) She's just over 1 pound, but she's already making an impact on our lives. For example, she curled up against my side last night and almost pushed me right off the bed! And even though she's just over a pound, Shadow is in terror - convinced that she will kill him. In fact, today she had a run-in with Pipsqueak and she stood her ground and he slank off!

Duke Orientation and Cats at Dinner

Well, I had my first day of Orientation at Duke today. It was a great experience! Everyone was really nice and of course the Divinity school building is great. I met up with a guy married to a friend of mine from NCC and he gave me a professor recommendation for my Hebrew class, so that was certainly a positive interaction! I also met a very nice lady who lives down the street from me - helpful for when I might need to carpool. It was an interesting mix of informational lectures and inspirational messages. We also had communion. We didn't do anything in the Duke Chapel - we were in the Goodson Chapel which adjoins Duke Chapel. I'll be able to register tomorrow which I'm looking forward to! The parking pass situation is a little complicated right now, but fortunately my class starts at 1:30 on the days it meets, which means if I leave early enough, I'll have plenty of time to navigate the Duke bus system to get from my assigned parking to the Divinity School. (Translation - my lot is WAY far away). In short, it was a uniformly positive and pleasing experience. I'm looking forward to starting class.

And then tonight at dinner our cats joined us! Sometimes Pip will hop up on the chair and sit at it watching us eat. We allow this because he's just on the chair and he doesn't try to eat our food. Sometimes we give him a tiny scrap, but we put it on the floor. Tonight Dale was eating potato chips, however. This is the only food that Shadow will fight Pip to eat. Shadow will passively watch Pip eat any of his food except potato chips! So tonight, just after Pip hopped up, Shadow jumped into the seat next to Dale. We had our whole family at the table. :)

book review

I just finished reading a Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. It is a well written book that describes the fictional lives of 2 women through the last 30 years of Afghanistan history. The story is compelling and does a great job of bringing you into what life has been like for women as regimes have come and gone and the country has been torn apart by war. I expected it to be a really difficult read, and it doesn't shrink from describing the atrocities of the Taliban, but it also isn't gross or too explicit - the squeamish of stomach can read it without fear.
But having read an interview of the author in O magazine, when he mentions that most of the horror stories are real, it is heart breaking to read the book. That's the most powerful aspect of the book: you know that although the book is fiction, it corresponds more closely to reality than say, James Frey's fictitious memoir A Million Little Pieces. In other words, women probably suffered exactly what he described and worse during the Taliban.
A good read for sure. It will draw you in, it will not repulse you, but it will convict you to care for our sisters in Afghanistan.

Vegas!

It was a fabulous trip! Not to bore everyone with drawn out details, Dale and I are just going to set down the Top Ten and the Bottom Five of our trip.

Bayless in Vegas Top Ten
10. Flamingo Habitat at Flamingo Casino
9. King Tut Museum at Luxor
8. Treasure Island Ship Battle
7. Eiffel Tower at Paris
6. Hugo's Cellar (sea bass that actually melted in my mouth!)
5. Guggenheim Museum at the Venetian
4. Stratosphere Top of the World Restaurant (food and view, spectacular)
3. Penn & Teller Show
2. Tripling our gambling money at the roulette wheel in Planet Hollywood
1. Bellagio Fountains

Bayless in Vegas Bottom Five
5. Waiting on and then getting passed by public buses
4. Huge crowds on sidewalks at night
3. Pushy Timeshare people everywhere
2. Siegfried and Roy's Secret Garden and Dolphin Habitat
1. Flight cancellation causing us to arrive in Vegas 5 hours later than expected

Poison Ivy and Harry Potter

Well, so far so good with the poison ivy. Got most of it out and no itching!
In other news, Dale and I, fearing that our Harry Potter bubble would break before we could borrow the book, broke down and bought our own copy! We tore through it, setting reading records for both of us (I calculated that I read it at 750 words per minute - INSANE).
However, let's avoid comments on the blog (in case anyone was going to comment) so my mom and sister-in-law have a chance to finish the book. :)

Poison Ivy Attack

Today I launched my offensive against Poison Ivy. It's growing luxuriantly all over our back hedge in the yard. At first I didn't even notice it, but once I found 1 sprig and started pulling, I noticed the huge vines and bushes of it. Ack!
For Round 1, I sprayed as much as I could find with Round-Up. I was gleeful this afternoon to notice that the rich green leaves are already browning up. If they are fully dead tomorrow I plan to uproot. So far, no poison ivy oil has made it past my armor of clothing and rubber gloves. We'll see how it goes tomorrow...

Baffle 3.0

Well, the hideous baffle didn't last very long. After only a few days, the squirrels decided that they had had enough of this disgusting, ugly thing, so they chewed right through the twine and ate to their hearts' content. Dale and I just laughed, because apparently the squirrels had better taste then we did!

But we were not stopped for long. Dale ordered a lovely expensive pole feeder with a guaranteed to work squirrel baffle. It has 4 arms, so you can hang four lovely bird feeders on it. And that's just what he did! And the great thing is, the baffle worked! The squirrels tried to climb the outside, but it moved too much. Then they tried to climb inside, but it was a dead end. They spent hours hanging on branches and our porch railing, eyeing the distance to see if they could make the jump, but no, they just couldn't. Now they hang around the base, sadly eating whatever the birds knock out. But don't feel too sorry for them. Dale feeds them critter food every now and then!

Baffle 2.1

So the pathetic ball and duct tape baffle didn't last very long either. I think we stumped the squirrels for about 6 hours. Finally they figured out that they could drape themselves across the ball and still reach the rope on the other side. Plus the Pam spray dried up after a few hours.
So I was at the grocery store and figured that maybe what we needed was a second ball. I found a cheap purple one and brought it home. I was going out of town for the weekend, so I left it prominently on the kitchen island, assuming Dale would know what to do with it.
And he did. Dale boldly went out and added the purple ball, taping it on the other side from the orange ball and wrapping the entire structure in duct tape. Now we had perhaps the ugliest structure ever seen: purple, orange, yellow, and brown duct tape. All hanging above a dingy old bird feeder. Wow.

Baffle 2.0

So we had the pathetic yellow twine and plate baffle. By watching the squirrels, we determined that we needed to secure the plate. Whenever the plate laid flat against the rope, the squirrels would happily run down to the feeder. So we took an old orange plastic ball and attached it to the underside of the plate. With brown duct tape. Very attractive. To further complicate the matter, we sprayed the entire structure with Pam cooking spray. Now we had a yellow twine rope with a yellow plate, orange ball, and brown tape wrapped around the whole thing, hanging in our backyard. Combined with our improvised birdbath (metal plant stand with cheap plastic tray on top) the yard was looking quite white trash...

In the beginning...

There was just one old birdfeeder on a rope in our tulip poplar. With the arrival of spring, we decided to fill it with seed. The birds began to show up immediately, and it was exciting to watch all the different kinds of birds showing up. Having grown up with outdoor cats, I wasn't used to seeing so many different kinds of birds.
However, there was a fly in our ointment. Really a squirrel, to be exact. The squirrels could jump directly from the tree trunk to the feeder, knocking out tons of food in the process. After a few weeks, Dale resorted to throwing critter food around in the back yard, hoping that the squirrels would eat that instead. But of course, they simply ate that in addition to the birdseed!
And so was born the Bayless Baffle, version 1.0. Dale was the crafter, using yellow plastic twine and an old yellow and orange plastic plate. He drilled a hole in the plate and suspended in on the twine about 2 feet above the feeder loop. Then he hung the twine a good 6 feet out from the tree trunk. We settled back to enjoy the show.
The squirrels were a bit miffed when they realized that they could no longer leap to the feeder. Naturally, they scampered down the branch and investigated the twine. Although they could fairly easily climb down it, the plate did confuse them. But only for a short time. Granddad didn't call them "Dr. Squirrel" for nothing! They quickly realized that the plate would just lay down flat against the twine, and that it was so small they could easily cross it. I think the entire baffle delayed the squirrels by about 30 minutes.

The Birdwatch Project

So I've taken to feeding the birds. It started in March with one mucky old birdfeeder left by the previous inhabitants and as of 27-June has grown into a 4-arm stand with squirrel baffle, a suet feeder, a tray feeder of sunflower seed, a thistle sack, and that original mucky old birdfeeder. Also have a separate hummingbird feeder closer to the house.

We have a plethora of birds and it seems I discovered a new one each week until about a month ago. So far, I have confirmed that we have flickers, downy woodpeckers, towhees, cardinals, finches, sparrows, chickadees, titmouse, thrashers, catbirds, cowbirds, grackles (yippee), nuthatches, robins, the occasional bluejay, and goldfinches. Our newest visitor is a wren...can't tell if there's more than one.

Pretty much all of them like the tube feeder.
Suet - downy woodpecker, grackles (until I get a pellet rifle), wrens, thrashers
Sunflower - grackles (seriously, what won't they eat?), cardinals, finches, sparrows, wrens
Thistle - finches and goldfinches

The thistle sack is kind of annoying because one of us has to go out there about twice a day and twist it to keep the seed exposed or the birds either can't or won't eat from it. It's worth it when we get a goldfinch though because they're magnificent birds.

My suet cake is almost gone (it's peanut...a big hit with the woodpeckers). May try fruit next time (oranges or something) to see if I can get the catbird to come to the feeder and see what else it may attract. We're also thinking of replacing the sunflower seed in the tray feeder with worms or grubs in the fall to see if we can get a Bluebird. We've seen one around, but not in our yard. My only fear with using "live" feed is that our plentiful population of robins may devour it before the bluebird even thinks of coming to the yard. We'll see.

I do a pretty good job of keeping the hummingbird feeder clean and fresh. I had 1 hummingbird from May until about 2 weeks ago and haven't seen him/her since. Never got a good enough look to determine if it was male or female. One website I referenced noted that the females sometimes stop feeding at nectar sources in late June through July because they have hatchlings and spend all of their time catching insects to feed to their young. Don't know how accurate this is, but will keep the feeder up for him/her in case she/he comes back.

Future posts will include the relaying of how we got from one feeder in a tree to my current obsession/monstrosity in the backyard. "Squirrels are the secret servants of the dark master" (thanks, Bridge to Terabithia!)

Dale

Buried

We haven't been posting much...
Dale is buried with schoolwork and this week I'm buried in sermon prep.
But since I don't want this to get too static, I'm posting for Shadow. He is dictating this entry to me.
"So, today I had to take my medicine twice. Miaowuck! I played with the colored hard cold kitty and the soft furry mouse thingie, but it was so stimulating that eventually I stopped playing and started running around the house as though I were insane. (pause to wash paw). You do understand, of course, that I'm not insane. I just like pretending. Pipsqueak was annoyed with you when you stepped on him on the rug. Miaowouch! I'm planning a busy night of jumping onto the countertops and sneaking into your lap when you're reading. (pause to stretch) I'm done now. (walk away)."

The end of TV...

Well, apparently our cable box was a lifeline for our TV because tonight, after approximately 2 minutes of "John Q", the TV up and died. Of course, I suppose that it's possible that John Q is not a good movie and our TV was protesting, but really, I think we've probably watched worse...

The unexpected joys of travel

I'm on week 2 of my 2 week journey of the eastern half of these great United States (and territories, protectorates, junior assistant states, or whatever the PC term is these days).

Last week was a 3 day whirlwind tour to San Juan, Puerto Rico. Think all the heat of the American south with twice the humidity. I conducted a physical inventory at one of our manufacturers, then rewarded myself with a tour of the Bacardi rum factory. This is actually a little false advertising on the part of the great Bacardi company, because you see, you don't actually get to see the INSIDE of the factory, though you do get to ride past it. They give you a great presentation on how to make rum and the history of rum making. I'm pretty sure I'm now an expert, since they first told me how to make rum via a "tour" guide, then showed me how to make rum via a 15 minute video, then showed me how Bacardi makes rum via more videos, then showed me the outside of the factory. I hypothesize that they don't actually take you through the factory because they don't want you to see the large pile of dead rats, bats, or other vermin in the corner of the building. Of course they made up for this unforgivably horrible "tour" by giving everyone 2 free drinks at the end. So, all in all, I'd rate it at 12.5 on a scale of 10....easily the best tour ever. Who needs to actually see the inside of a factory during a factory tour anyway?

I nearly had a mid-air emergency on my flight back from San Juan. The flight left at 6:45am, I was on oxycodone for my wisdom teeth and I had eaten nothing before boarding the plane. The a/c wasn't working (so the plane was very stuffy) and the octogenerian lady sitting beside me was "emitting some odiferous eminations" from her nether regions that would put the burliest, grease-eating, beer-guzzling merchant marine to shame. Combine all of those factors, and I was reaching for the barf bag before 2 things (by the grace of God) saved me: 1. The a/c came on and 2. the beverage cart had arrived at my most desperate moment of need. This is proof that God loves me, but also has a somewhat twisted sense of humor.

I flew to Chicago today. Here until Thursday. Will update you with any news and notes later in the week.

Dale

Book Reviews

So "The Active Life" by Parker Palmer was very good, as to be expected. Mom gave that one to me and I really enjoyed it. It felt more like a discussion than a book about how to lead an active life that's not frantic.
"Leaving the Saints" by Martha Beck just blew my socks off! I read it twice in a row. It is a really beautiful account of the author going through hell as she put together her past with her present. She was raised a Mormon, and by the end of the book has left the Mormon faith for a faith that is authentically hers. Bonus is the light humor throughout what would otherwise be a gut-wrenching read. The topic of Mormonism lends a hand here, as she can freely talk about herding parrots, travelling Irishmen with mummies, and the special Mormon underwear. On a serious note, that book gave me some pause for thought about Mitt Romney, who is Mormon.
Now, I'm not saying that if Romney were elected, the Mormons would get hold of the government and everything would go crazy. But Beck does address the issue of polygamy quite a bit. While the official Mormon church does not advocate polygamy, they would return to it, according to Beck, the instant it became legal. I find this believable, since extremist Mormon groups currently practice polygamy today. And why would polygamy become legal? Well, if homosexuals were allowed to get married, then why would we say no to polygamists? Don't they also have a right to pursue happiness in marriage? And you know, I'm generally in favor of gay marriage. But I'm definitely not in favor of polygamy. So I'm thinking through the whole issue of marriage again, based on this book. Which really is only tangentially related to Mitt Romney, who may be a perfectly innocuous candidate.

First Weekend with No TV

So this was our first weekend without TV. We cancelled all our cable TV service this week. It's an experiment in time and money! And yes, we know we can get the broadcast networks, but so far we haven't even tried. I mean, what, I should want to watch "Age of Love"?
Let's see, no TV means we: bought and installed a hammock, bought and installed a fourth bird feeder, bought groceries for the next week and a half, cleaned the house, read books, did schoolwork, finally installed our surround sound speakers, attended a party, went to church, went to a concert, went for 2 bike rides, and watched an entire Seinfeld Netflix disc. (Well, you didn't really think we'd leave the TV completely OFF, did you?)
In wildlife news, we have a bunny joining the squirrels in foraging beneath the feeder. We especially like it when the squirrels startle him and he jumps backwards!
Dale's teeth are healing well. No more chipmunk cheeks! He's off to Chicago this week and then will hopefully be staying home for a while.

First Real Post!

Dale and I decided to start this blog as a way of recording some of the funny/weird things that happen to us and sharing them with our families. :) We're planning a series about our recent "Squirrel Wars," for example. We hope the site is entertaining for you all.
Dale gets back from Puerto Rico today! He's a travelling man, for sure, although not as much travelling at Dad. He has a really hard life: he had to fly to PR on Tuesday, spend the afternoon outside, stay at a resort hotel, tour the Bacardi Rum factory, spend 5 hours on meetings and inventory, then fly back today. In fact, as I type he's sitting in the Miami airport.
That's all the latest news for us!

Family blog

Just for the fun of it, really.