Thursday, October 16, 2008
The Only Girl
It seems like whatever career I'm in, being a girl puts me in the minority. First I did computer helpdesk. There were other women in my group, but we were the minority for sure. Then I became a student in seminary. Now, so far, I haven't been too far in the minority. Generally, at Regent, the classes are fairly evenly split for gender. This was refreshing. But as I move more into the realm of pastoring, I move back into the minority. I go to a pastors meeting in Burlington, and there are always less than 10 women and more than 30 men there. Now, I'm in this really great class, and, aside from the teaching assistant, I am the only woman. There was another woman, but I think she's dropped out. Anyway, not a problem for me, but it does seem to be a problem for the guys sometime. This class has a meeting in January. It will be interesting to watch the dynamics. I predict that the younger men will avoid me, and the older men will talk with me. Seems to be the dynamic I'm noticing.
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5 comments:
Wear a padded (very padded) push-up bra and the younger guys will talk to you too.
This is not really a problem—in fact, it's an asset. You are intelligent and creative. Don't allow the smallest crumb of a chip to land on your shoulder. Forget that any of them are male—who cares?
LISTENING ATTENTIVELY to everyone is an important part of this. You model the behavior you approve of. Work the ideas, calmly and sensibly. Suss out who the leaders are in the group and work with them. Ignore anything you might feel is said to you because you are female.
The key, really, is to earn everyone's respect, and men have to do this also. If you are at your intelligent, calm, creative best, the respect will come your way. And a friendly and sympathetic attitude wins all kinds of allies
Forget the male-female thing. Women are in the ascendancy in many churches now, and you can always ignore the Baptists, Catholics, CofCs, and other dinosaurs.
You can't listen attentively and ignore people, you know. Got to do one or the other. ;)
Listen attentively to what is being said. But you can ignore sexist remarks. In other words, ignore remarks that are sexist—or not on the task at hand. You can do both, but you have to listen attentively to know the difference.
Who is General Bayless and why do I want information about him?
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