Friday, January 9, 2009

When did my life goals become obstacles?

I was considering switching from 1 day of writing per week to daily writing this morning. And I felt a weight on my shoulders at the thought. Because I'm also supposed to be exercising daily, meditating daily, listening to the Bible & journaling daily, cooking daily, showering daily, etc. The thought of 1 more daily thing was too depressing. I had this thought that if I added 1 more thing, my day would be totally consumed. And then I had a second thought: why would it be so bad for my day to be consumed with things that either improve my life or advance my life goals? It's like these things, exercising, praying, journaling, writing, would get in the way of ... what, exactly?
What is my life about? I understand why I don't want to exercise daily. And I'm open to the possibility that my writing life requires 1 weekly big devotion as opposed to small daily increments. But this whole mental conversation stopped me short with the thought that if my daily life isn't dedicated to the activities which advance my goals and improve my life, what is it for? Cooking, cleaning, watching Oprah and doing homework?
I'm not saying I'm going to switch to a life of total discipline. I like open space in my schedule - I like spontaneity, and that's ok. But I am going to keep an eye on this conversation in my head. Daily activities create my life and I'm affirming that I'm going to turn off the obligation and burden view and turn on the possibility and goal view.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Be careful and prayerful.

qlluevacafe said...

Leave room for spontaneity and boredom. If you ever want to write together or read-because you have to be an avid reader to write well-let me know:D

mooooooo