Another conversation with Dale

Dale: Apparently Sharon Osborne is getting her breast implants removed and giving them to Ozzie.
me: Why is she removing them?
Dale: I don't know. Maybe they're hard to maintain.
me: What's to maintain? They're just bags of fluid - there's no maintenance.
Dale: Maybe Ozzie will use them as paperweights (laughing).
me: That's awesome. You know, if I get cancer and then get implants and then die before you, I want you to remove my implants and use them as paperweights on your desk at work.
Dale: that would be great!
me: Yeah, cause people would totally think they were stress balls and come up and start squeezing them and be all like, "what's this, a stress ball?" And then you would be like, "no, those were my wife's breasts," and they would all freak out.
both: laughing.
me: But you're making this up about Sharon Osborne, right?
Dale: No, for real, she's having them removed.

I have not tried to verify whether Sharon Osborne is having her implants removed...