My friend Kerry Smith has detailed the different types of hugs here. So I decided to discuss the kiss hello on this blog.
Now, I know most of my friends and family do not participate in the kiss hello, at least not with me. This could be because I am certifiably disabled in the execution of the kiss hello. I am the person who dodges or goes for the wrong cheek, leading to head bobs, random mouth kisses, and other exceedingly awkward moments. Please know that this blog is not an invitation for you all to inflict the kiss hello on me, unless you just want to have an awkward moment. And now, here are the types of hello kiss available.
The Air Cheek Kiss: In this move, the greeter moves in, presses her cheek against the other person's cheek, and kisses the air audibly. The maneuver is most commonly executed on both cheeks, but very rarely will only hit one cheek. The person receiving the kiss may make air-kissing noises as well, if they are quick enough.
The Cheek Kiss: In this move, the two people move together and the greeter kisses first 1 cheek, then the other. About half of the time, this move is only executed on one cheek. There is no rule as to which cheek is first, although among those who practice the Kiss Hello, there is some kind of psychic knowledge which allows the greetee to present the correct cheek. The person receiving the kiss may return the cheek kisses, but again, must time it perfectly.
The Mouth Kiss: Most commonly practiced by family members, it is occasionally shared between female friends and very good opposite gender friends (but with no sexual overtones). This is a closed lip kiss in the context of a hello. Men are much less likely than women to use this maneuver.
The Forehead Kiss: This is a move for ex-dating partners, people with a large gap in age, or opposite gender friends. This kiss says "I care about you in a protective way." Can also be used on people who would normally warrant a mouth kiss but are eating something or talking.
The Open-Mouth Kiss: This kiss generally only occurs between lovers. Although if a person is incompetent at the Kiss Hello, this can be the mangled result as the person receiving the greeting moves their head awkwardly to look at the person kissing them.
The Head-In-Hands-Cheek-Kiss: This kiss is practiced by those who are kind enough to recognize an incompetent Kiss Hello person, such as myself. In this move, the greeter takes the person's head in their hands and moves it from side to side, squarely planting a kiss on each cheek. This is a very rare form of the Kiss Hello, and is best practiced swiftly before the person receiving the greeting can struggle, resist, or cause a scene.
3 comments:
I am not so much about the kiss... although I have been known to give random kisses. I will kiss Erin on the head when I hug her, or Alicia and I will kiss... but other than that, I would rather just give the good old-fashioned hug. Cuz hugging kicks ass.
I'm a hugger, not a kisser!!
Did you write these definitions? They're pretty witty. Yes, just remember to always go to your left 1st and hopefully you can avoid awkward situations, ha.
No mouth kisses without romantic intentions! Please! Some of us are just not in to that, and others have colds, flu, etc.
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