Thursday, May 8, 2008

long-distance hugs

I have a friend, not a reader of this blog, who is going through a horrific time in her life. She's struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. And I'm hundreds of miles away from her. And I just wish that I could be there for her in a concrete way - more concrete, that is, than email and phone calls. I want to call her church pastor and say, "what are you all doing? What are you offering? You have someone suffering from a potentially fatal emotional heart attack - how are you trying to save her?" But, of course, I won't. They don't need my judgmental accusations. And I know the situation better than that. But in my own frustration, I want to find someone to TAKE ACTION.
Sometimes the best you can do is a long-distance hug and a prayer. I know this. I know it can be effective. But it doesn't change my desire to do MORE.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sadly, very few churches provide good (valid) counseling for people in trouble. And lay people, no matter how well-intentioned, just often don't know how to help people.

I share your pain for your friend. But if she won't go to a psychologist, she probably won't open her heart to a pastor either. Ironic, because a psychologist could help her and would provide confidentiality.

How about Stephen Ministry? Many churches have that program and at least some training is given. My understanding is that they at least provide someone to walk with the sufferer.

Meanwhile, long-distance hugs and prayers are really all you can provide. Sometimes all we can do is be there with our suffering friend. And being there is not a small thing in this world of quick fixes and people who are too busy.

Blessings on you and your friend.

Anonymous said...

Having been in your friend's shoes, I can say that good friends like you are what she needs. She could also benefit from a good anti-depressant (I can recommend Welbutrin), but having friends who make it known how important you are in their lives can make all the difference in the world.