Yesterday our pastor gave a sermon on faith and taking risks for faith. At one point in the sermon, I wrote down in my journal my questions: why don't I feel like I'm taking a risk with my writing? Why isn't it scary? Well, then, at the end, he suggested we all write down a seed of faith we would plant this week. I quickly thought up one, a rather personal one which had nothing to do with my writing. And then the pastor continued, saying that we would turn in our seeds of faith and the prayer group would be praying over them this week. So I immediately decided to change mine. And that's when God snuck into my brain.
Get an agent to publish your book was the thought that snuck in. Now, let me tell you, my other idea was not NEARLY this terrifying. I fought back. No way, the book isn't ready to be published. Get an agent to publish your book. But I'm not ready to write a book. Get an agent to publish your book - once you have a contract you'll have time to finish writing it. No, I'm not ready. I felt like Moses talking to the burning bush, and I knew it. So I grudgingly wrote down this seed of faith and dutifully turned it in.
(A side note: our church isn't entirely creepy - I clarified after service that our prayer group won't actually be reading the seeds of faith, just praying over them).
So now I'm committed, and all of a sudden my writing is TERRIFYING. Not the search for the agent, but the possibility that someone might accept - that someone might actually decide, hey, that's a good idea and I want to publish your book. Maybe this is ridiculously optimistic, but on the other hand, it is also committing myself to an action that, if successful, will truly show God's power at work.
Let me tell you people - talking to God is risky business...
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You know, you gave me an interesting thought when you spoke up in church Sunday. You were talking about about how you've been writing every Tuesday, and Ed replied that you've been putting it out there, and you were like, "Yeah, I've been submitting". My wires must have been crossed because when you said it I thought for a few minutes you meant submit in the other sense of the word. Like you've been submitting TO your writing, not submitting your writing. When I finally realized what you actually meant, it made for an interesting thing to think about. Because, in submitting your work, you are, in a sense, submitting TO your work. When you talk about an animal submitting to another animal, it lies on the ground with its stomach exposed. Like, "OK, go ahead and kill me". And by submitting your work, you're putting yourself in a very vulnerable position. Isn't it interesting that it's the same word? Because it's the same feeling. So maybe that means you're doing it right? If anything it was just interesting to think about.
Good thoughts. Writing is about submitting - you do have to submit to the story and the characters - the challenge is figuring out how to listen to them.
As for submitting to magazines, I must admit that I don't feel vulnerable - I see it as a numbers game. Once I've gotten a certain amount of rejection, I will get accepted. That's what every writer's experience has been (that I've read so far). So I submit will full expectation of rejection, but hope that I'll get useful feedback and maybe an acceptance.
Now, getting the book accepted would be flat out terrifying!
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